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The thing about crying in Lerner’s was once I started, I couldn’t stop I didn’t even mean it or really feel it, but I couldn’t stop I could waste tiotThat’s all that uess," I say

But Grey wants h I’m kind of bored, like last tiy to take pictures with Jake after the bell

Fridays are turning out to be a"Maybe it was because it felt too s feeling like before," Grey says She opens her Parker notebook "It seeed?"

I stare at the inspirational poster tacked to the wall behind her head So up Lame

"I had a lot of responsibilities," I say "I was thinking about it I was captain of the cheerleading squad, I was a straight A-plus student and, let’s be honest, I was popular All of that takes a lot of work I did soot rid of all those responsibilities and you knohat? I liked life a lot better Before, I was suffocating So, lately, I’ve been trying for the horaduate, but that essay every time I sat down to write it, I just couldn’t because--"

"You felt suffocated," Grey finishes

She’s so smart I mean, I’m so smart She’s so predictable

"Yeah"

"Well, I sympathize, Parker, but we can’t make many more allowances for you As it stands, we’ve--"

"I wasn’t asking," I say, laughing a little "I mean, it’s not like I cried in Lerner’s on purpose"

Shit It co, like I did cry on purpose, which I did, but Grey’s obviously not supposed to know that And of course she catches it

Her face darkens

"Ms Grey!" I bring my hand to my mouth and try to sound scandalized, to diffuse the situation "You don’t think I did it on purpose, do you?"

But that co, too

"You just don’t learn, do you, Parker?" She closes her notebook and glares at me "You run everyone around in circles--"

"I run everyone around in circles?"

"You do"

"I do?"

"Stop that" She takes off her glasses and rubs her eyes "You want everyone to think your problem is what happened over the summer--"

"No, that’s what everyone wants to think--"

"But it is your problelasses back on "You manipulate You make it your excuse and that’s exactly how you push it away"

The party starts at eight, but I show up early so Chris and I can have sex Another year at St Peter’s is alht ti to be a lot o to his bedrooainst hisand he turns on so music really low and he kisses me and I kiss him back and then, I don’t know, I kind of seize up

"What’s wrong?"

"That doesn’t evenI tell her We sit in silence until the bell rings I feel like I should be furious with her, and I ht be, but more than that, I’m annoyed I have to remind myself she wasn’t there and she doesn’t know a da half-assed assertions once a week I just wish she wouldn’t

When I get out, Jake’s waiting for ot the camera," he says

"Great"

We head outside

I can’t believe he goes on my stupid bus and I didn’t even notice "You can sit where you nor to," he replies "So do you have any idea--"

"Yeah, I have an idea: please stop talking"

We climb on the bus I take my usual seat at the front and he heads for the ainst theand close my eyes I don’t mean to, but I fall asleep, and fifteenpretty irritated All through art he pesteredpictures of"

"I think this is your stop," he says sarcastically

I rub my eyes "Yeah"

We inch up the aisle and step onto the street I can see h the hassle of introducing Jake toand it’d give them false hope and, like I said before, I don’t do that

"We’ll go this way" I point in the opposite direction "If we go down this street, turn left and walk through the park there’s this kind of wooded area Beyond that, there’s a ravine We could probably get so to your house first?"

"I don’t want you to knohere I live"

He laughs "Like I give a dao to the ravine"

We walk I don’t know if I should be nice to hiuest because we’re near where I live and he has no idea where we are