Page 6 (1/2)

Lerner’s essay

Shit

I tear out of the gyirls stop cheering to watch lish binder and pencil case fron how you relate to "The Yellow Wallpaper" as a senior to how you related to the story as a freshainst my eyes and try to wish, wish, wish myself out of this situation

A thousand words?

I sit down, ht into the eyes of Jessica Wellington Jessie Her photograph, anyway I forgot Four years, two suicides, one death, one rape, two pregnancies (one abortion), three overdoses and one ton Since late junior year Just up and ran away

I’d give anything to be her right now

So it’s one missed essay What’s the worst they could do? Maybe I’ll cry in front of Lerner He hates that He grants extensions at the drop of a hat if girly tears are involved It’s what he’s famous for

"Parker?"

Chris He sits beside e to flee I can’t stand being around hi around hih of yot to do an essay for Lerner over the weekend, which wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it wasn’t a point againstwith the rest of you at the end of the year"

"Bet you wish you hadn’t gotten drunk on Sunday now"

I bat my eyelashes at him "Chris, I believe you don’t feel sorry for me"

"I think you do it to yourself"

"Of course I do" I should at least be trying for a thousand words, but I don’t I just sit there while he stares at ht about lots of things Be more specific"

"Becky’s not you and that’s why I don’t want to date her again"

I laugh

"Many girls aren’t et used to it"

"Can’t"

"Why? I did awful things to you and I’d do theain"

He winces "I don’t think you meant them"

"I meant them"

"You know, that `94 issue of Cos in it about G-spots," he says "But I should’ve figured you were lying"

"Yeah, you should’ve"

"But Becky does knohere it is" My mouth drops open I try to recover, but it’s too late; Chris saw it I don’t knohy I expected Becky to telllike that He smiles "Doesn’t bother you, does it?" "No" I s "Okay, so why exactly can’t you go out on a second date? If it doesn’t bother you that she’s not me when you fuck her, I don’t see why you can’t--"

He holds up his hand "We didn’t fuck"

"Oh, I see Congratulations"

"Where do you think she is?"

"What are you talking about?"

He nods at the poster of Jessica "Where do you think she is?"

"Dead," I say "Either that or working as a prostitute But probably dead"

"Nice I can’t believe you just said that" He blows a strand of hair out of his eyes "You didn’t used to be this cold"

"You know, if I do over any to be like this It’s not a phase, Chris This is who I am"

"Do you ever hear yourself?" he asks "You’re so full of shit"

"No, I’rabs raze et close to o and stands

"Good luck with your essay"

He heads back in the direction of the gym I reopen my binder and poise my pen above the blue lines I should at least try

Write a thousand-word essay co how you relate to "The Yellow Wallpaper" as a senior to how you related to the story as a freshman

I didn’t even reread the stupid story and the only memory I have of it isn’t entirely accurate, if I’m to believe Becky, which in this case I do Still, I’ a thousand-word lie should be easy

I can do it I can do this