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He looked at h"What is it?" I asked

"Ann has passed on"

First, a jolt; as though I’d been struck Then a feeling of excitement mixed with sorrow Sorrow for the children, exciteain!

No The look on Albert’s face did not encourage such a feeling and a sense of cold, aching dread engulfed ed

He put his hand on my shoulder "Chris, she killed herself," he said "She’s cut herself away fro possibility I FELT NUMB as I sat on the grass, listening to Albert He’d led lade

I say that I was listening but I really wasn’t Words and phrases reached hts of my own opposed the continuity of what he said, Troubled recollections mostly; of the times I’d heard Ann say "If you died, I’d die too" "If you went first, I don’t think I could make it"

I knew, then, why I’d felt that sense of constant dread despite the fascinations of my first exposure to Summerland So; an inner knowledge of so terrible about to happen to her

I knehy I’d had those nightain, in memory, I saw her look of terror as she slid across the cliff edge, sank beneath the churning waters of the pool, fell in bloody shock before the bear’s attack The cliff and pool and bear had all been symbols of my fear for her, not drea forwhat she’d felt herself about to do

Albert’s voice reached my attention "Because of her childhood traurown, your death--" I stared at hiht broke off and he nodded

"God’’ I put my face in ; I was e and closely associated leaves a literal vacuum in that person’s life," Albert said "The streay directed toward that lost sos? I wondered

"That sitting may have played a part as well," he said "They, sometimes, distort the

"Despite what your wife said," he continued, "I think she hoped there was an afterlife I think she placed considerable reliance on that sitting When it turned out to be, from her standpoint, a delusion, she--" His voice trailed off

"You said you’d keep an eye on her," I re what she planned to do though"

"Why was I told that she was scheduled to coe of seventy-two?"

"Because she was," he said "In spite of as scheduled though, she possessed the will to circu That’s the problem, don’t you see? There’s a natural time fixed for each of our deaths but--’’

"Then why am / here?" I asked "Was that accident the natural time for my death?"

"Presumably so," he answered "Maybe not At any rate, you weren’t responsible for that death Ann was responsible for hers And to kill one’s self is to violate the law because it deprives that self of working out the needs of its life"

He looked upset now, shaking his head "If only people would realize," he said "They think of suicide as a quick route to oblivion, an escape Far from it, Chris Itcan destroy the spirit Suicide only precipitates a darker continuation of the saht A continuation under circumstances so much more painful--"

"Where is she, Albert?" I interrupted

"I have no idea," he said "When she killed herself, she merely discarded the denser part of her body What renetically by earth--but where on earth could be impossible to discover The corridor between the physical and astral worlds is, to all intents and purposes, endless"

"How long will she be there?"

He hesitated

"Albert?"

His sigh was heavy "Until her natural departure ti shock I couldn’t restrain asp "Twenty-four years?"

He didn’t answer He didn’t have to; I knew the answer myself by then Nearly a quarter of a century in the "lower realm"--that place I hadn’t dared to even think about before because it had evoked such apprehensions in me A sudden hope I clutched at it "Won’t her etheric body die as mine did?"

"Not for twenty-four years," he said "It will survive as long as she’s held in the etheric world"

"It isn’t fair" I said "To punish someone as out of her mind"

"Chris, it isn’t punishment" he said "It’s law"

"But she had to be out of her rief," I persisted

He shook his head "If she had been, she wouldn’t be where she is," he answered "It’s as simple as that No one put her there That she’s there is proof that she made a willful decision"

"I can’t believe it," I said I stood and walked away from hiainst a tree, he stood beside me "It can’t be all that ahere she is," he tried to reassure ood wife and ht certainly isn’t that of those who have lived basely It’s just that she’s lost her faith and has to stay where she is until her time comes"

"No,’’ I said, determinedly

He didn’t reply I sensed his confusion and looked at him

He knew, then, what I had in ether, I saw a look of disquiet on his face "Chris, you can’t," he told me

"Why?"

"Well in the first place, I don’t believe it can be done," he said "I’ve never seen it done, never heard of anyone even atte it"

A cold dread seized azed at hi my determination "Then I’ll be the first," I said "Chris--" He regarded me with deep concern "Don’t you understand? She’s there for a purpose If you help, you distort that purpose, you--"

"I have to, Albert," I said, desperately "Don’t you understand? I can’t just leave her there for twenty-four years I have to help her"

"Chris--"

"I have to help her," I repeated I braced myself "Will someone try to stop me?"

He avoided the question "Chris, even if you found her, which is probably inize you Hear your voice and not remember it at all Your presence would be incomprehensible to her Not only would she not accept your offers of help, she wouldn’t even listen to you"

I asked again "Will someone try to stop me?"

"That’s not the point, Chris," he said "You have no conception of the dangers in--"

"I-don’t-care!" I said "I want to help her!"

"Chris, there’s nothing you can do’’

I struggled to control myself "Albert, isn’t there the reht ht, in so which ht help to make her state a little more endurable?"

He looked at"I wish I could say yes," he said, "but I can’t"

I felt ain "Well, I have to try," I told hierous it is"

"Chris, please don’t speak so thoughtlessly about those dangers," he said Another first I’d never heard the faintest tinge of criticism in his voice before I’d heard it now

We stood in silence, looking at each other Finally, I spoke "Will you help an to speak but I cut hiain At last, he replied "I’ll try," he said "I don’t believe it’s possible but--" He raised a hand to keep"I’ll try, Chris," he said

Time with its multiple tor outside a building in the city, pacing anxiously Albert was inside, trying to arrange a mental link with Ann He’d warned me more than once that I would probably be disappointed He’d never seen a link successfully made to anyone in the lower real them They could not locate specific individuals in advance, however, since all those in the lower realm were barred from communication by their own particular insularity

Only if they asked for help--

I had to sluht--returned to me as well I closed my eyes and prayed that Albert would locate her soht her naht tiether, my arm around her shoulders as atched television

She’d fallen asleep again She always see on my chest I never woke her and did not this tiotten as I gazed at her face As always, tears welled slowly in ray in her hair, the lines of ti child’s expression in her sleep

At least when I was holding her

She was clutchingnow and then My hand ached frorip but I didn’t stir Better thatat her face as she slept, thinking how ainsthastily, I looked at him He shook his head

At first, I refused to believe "There has to be a way," I insisted

"She’s cut off," he said "Not asking for help because she doesn’t believe that such a thing exists"

"But--"

"They couldn’t find her, Chris," he said "They tried every possible way I’ to a nearby brook, I sat on its bank and stared into the crystal,my back "I’," I ," he told ly about each other because you’re soul mates"

I didn’t kno to take that, how to react I’d heard the phrase, of course, but only in the most banal of ways, within the context of trivial ballads and poetry

"What it means, literally," Albert said, "is that you both possess the sath, your auras a vibratory unison"

Reaction failedthis if it didn’t help Ann?

"That’s why you fell in love with her so quickly when you met her on the beach that day," Albert had continued "Your soul was celebrating a reunion with her"

I could only stare at him Somehow, the news did not surprise me I’d never been superstitious in life Yet I’d always insisted, to Ann, that we hadn’t met by accident

Still, of what value was it to know this?

"That’s why you felt so strongly about being with her after your death,’’ Albert said "Why you never stopped--’’

"Then it’s why she felt so strongly," I broke in "She had to kill herself To join ain"

"No" Albert shook his head "She didn’t do it to join you How could she have when she didn’t believe that was possible?" He shook his head again "No, she killed herself to terminate her existence, Chris As she believes your existence was terht, her pain," he said "It wasn’t her decision to h Can’t you see that?"

"I know she was suffering, that’s all I know"

He sighed "It is the law, Chris, take ood is knowing all this if it can’t help me find her?" I interrupted, miserably

"Because," he said, "since you are soulyou in spite of azed at him, confused "If she can’t be found--" I broke off haplessly, a sudden vision jarringDutch eternally in search of Ann Is that what he meant?

"There’s one way left," he said He put a hand onpossibility"