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THE RHYTHM OF LOST AND FOUND
The Emperor was camped in some bushes near an open culvert that drained into Lobos Creek in the Presidio, the land point on the San Francisco side of the Golden Gate where forts had stood from the time of the Spanish, but had recently been turned into a park The E into stor the sound of his lost soldier’s barking The faithful retriever Lazarus had led him here, one of the few drains in the city where the Boston terrierwashed into the Bay They cae poncho and waited Mercifully, it hadn’t rained since Bummer had chased the squirrel into the stor over the City for two days now, and whether or not they were bringing rain, they made the Emperor fear for his city
"Ah, Lazarus," said the Ee behind the ears, "if we had even half the courage of our so into that drain and find hie, our valor? Steady and righteous we e to risk ourselves for our brother, we are but politicians - blustering whores to rhetoric"
Lazarus growled low and hunkered back under the poncho The sun had just set, but the Emperor could see movement back in the culvert As he climbed to his feet, the six-foot pipe was filled with a creature that crawled out and virtually unfolded in the creekbed - a huge, bullheaded thing, with eyes that glowed green and wings that unfurled like leathery umbrellas
As they watched the creature took three steps and leapt into the twilight sky, his wings beating like the sails of a death ship The E their caht on Market Street, with people and police co them around the Buddhist center, which, except for the office in the front, and a living room that had been turned into aVictorian home Austere and Oriental in its decor, yes, and perhaps the s old house
"It’s just a big old house, really," she said, leading the Audrey feel a little unco at bits of duct-tape adhesive that had stuck to the sleeve of his green jacket, and giving Audrey a look like he was saying, This better come out when it’s dry-cleaned or it’s your ass His size alone was inti on his forehead where he’d son warrior, except for the pastel-green suit, of course Maybe the agent for a Klingon warrior
"So," he said, "if the squirrel people thought I was a bad guy, why did they save me from the sewer harpy in the train last week? They attacked her and gave ed "I don’t know They were supposed to just watch you and report back They must have seen that as after you was much worse than you They are human, at heart, you know"
She paused in front of the pantry door and turned to them She hadn’t seen the debacle in the street, but Esther had been watching through theand had told her what had happened - about the wo after Charlie Evidently these strangewhat she had taken on as her holy work: helping souls to move to their next existence But the uys are saying, there are thousands of hu around without souls?"
"Millions, probably," Charlie said
"Maybe that explains the last election," she said, trying to buy time
"You said you could see if people had one," said Minty Fresh
He was right, but she’d seen the soulless and never thought about their sheer numbers, and what happened when the dead didn’t match with the born She shook her head "So the transfer of souls depends on material acquisition? That’s just so - I don’t know - sleazy"
"Audrey, believe me," Charlie said, "we’re both as baffled by the mechanics of it as you are, and we’re instruments of it"
She looked at Charlie, really looked at hiht thing She threw open the pantry door and the red light spilled out on the as aandsoul vessels
"Jeez," Charlie said
"I got as many as I could - or, the squirrel people did"
Minty Fresh ducked into the pantry and stood in front of a shelf full of CDs and records He grabbed a handful and started shuffling through the up a half-dozen CD cases fanned out "These are froot all of them," Audrey said
"You broke into uys, Minty," Charlie said, stepping in the pantry "She probably saved them, maybe saved us"
"No way,if it wasn’t for her"
"No, it was always going to happen I saw it in the other Great Big Book, in Arizona"
"I was just trying to help the at the CDs in Minty’s hand He seemed to have fallen into some sort of trance, and reached out and took the CDs as if he were h some thick liquid - then shuffled away all but one, which he just stared at, then flipped over to look at the back He sat down hard in the pantry and Audrey caught his head to keep hi it on the shelf behind him
"Charlie," she said "Are you okay?"
Minty Fresh squatted down next to Charlie and looked at the CD - reached for it, but Charlie pulled it away Minty looked at Audrey "It’s his wife," he said
Audrey could see the name Rachel Asher scratched into the back of the CD case and she felt her heart breaking for poor Charlie She put her arms around him "I’m so sorry, Charlie I’m so sorry"
Tears splattered on the CD case and Charlie wouldn’t look up
Minty Fresh stood and cleared his throat, his face clear of any rage or accusation He see around the City for days, I could sure use a place to lie down if you have it"
She nodded, her face against Charlie’s back "Ask Esther, she’ll show you"
Minty Fresh ducked out of the pantry
Audrey held Charlie and rocked hih he was lost in the world of that CD that held the love of his life, and she was outside, crouched in a pantry that glowed red with cosmic bric-a-brac, she cried with him
After an hour passed, or rief and love, Charlie turned to her and said, "Do I have a soul?"
"What?" she said
"You said you could see people’s souls glowing in them - do I have a soul?"
"Yes, Charlie Yes, you have a soul"
He nodded, turning away froainst her
"You want it?" he said
"Nah, I’ood," she said But she wasn’t
She took the CD out of his hand, pried his hands off of it, really, and put it with the others "Let’s let Rachel rest and go in the other room"
"Okay," Charlie said He let her help him up
Upstairs, in a little room with cushions all over the floor and pictures of the Buddha reclining aht They’d shared their histories, of how they had come to be where they were, what they were, and with that out of the way, they talked about their losses
"I’ve seen it again and again," Charlie said "More with men than omen, but definitely with both - a wife or husband dies, and it’s like the survivor is roped to him like a mountain climber who’s fallen into a crevasse If the survivor can’t let go - cut therave I think that would have happened toa Death Merchant There was soer than my pain That’s the only reason I made it this far"
"Faith," Audrey said "Whatever that is It’s funny, when Esther cary - she said that she’d believed in Jesus all her life, now she was dying and He said she was going to live forever"
"So you told her, ’Sucks to be you, Esther’"
Audrey threw a cushion at him She liked the way that he could find the silliness in such dark territory "No, I told her that He told her that she’d live forever, but He didn’t say how Her faith hadn’t been betrayed at all, she just needed to open to a broader understanding"
"Which was total bullshit," Charlie said
Another cushion bounced off his forehead "No, it wasn’t nificance of the book not covering everything in detail, it should be you - us"
"You can’t say ’bullshit,’ can you?"
Audrey felt herself blush and was glad they were in the di faith, over here, you want to give me a break?"
"Sorry I know - or, I think I knohat you mean I mean, I know that there’s some sort of order to all this, but I don’t kno so with a Tibetan Book of the Dead, with a Great Big Book of Death, secondhand dealers selling objects with human souls, and vicious raven women in the sewers The "
"Well, the Bardo Thodrol talks about hundreds of monsters you will encounter as your consciousness makes its journey into death and rebirth, but you’re instructed to ignore the to keep your consciousness fro on They can’t really har they left out of the book, Audrey, because I’ve seen therasp, watched the - they are definitely not illusions and they definitely can hurt you The Great Big Book isn’t clear about the specifics, but it definitely talks about the Forces of Darkness trying to take over our world, and how the Luminatus will rise and do battle with theht?"
"The big Death," Charlie said "Death with a capital D Sort of the Kahuna, the Big Cheese, the Boss Death Like Minty and the other Death Merchants would be Santa’s helpers, the Lu Death?!" Audrey said, wide-eyed
"No, that’s just an exah "Hey, I’ve been bruised and electrocuted and tied up and trau?" Audrey grinned
Charlie was flustered "I didn’t - I wasn’t - was I staring at your breasts? Because if I was, it was totally by accident, because, you know - there they were, and - "
"Shh" She reached over and put her finger on his lips to shush hiht now, and very connected to you right now, and I want to keep that connection going, but I’m exhausted, and I don’t think I can talk anymore I think I’d like you to come to bed with me"
"Really? Are you sure?"
"Am I sure? I haven’t had sex in fourteen years - and if you’d asked me yesterday, I’d have told you that I’d rather face one of your raven o to bed with a man, but now I’m here, with you, and I’" She smiled, then looked away "I mean, if you are"
Charlie took her hand "Yeah," he said "But I was going to tell you so?"
"Sure"
They spent the night in each other’s ar turned out to be illusions Loneliness evaporated off of the it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the rooht so-room table and cleaned up the h the kitchen door He was sitting at the table when Charlie came down
"They towed my car," said Minty Fresh "There’s coffee"
"Thanks" Charlie skipped across the dining room to the kitchen He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat doith Minty "How’s your head?"
The big man touched the purple bruise on his forehead "Better How’re you doing?"
"I accidentally shagged a ht"
"Sometimes, in ti besides that?"
"I feel wonderful"
"Yeah, iine the rest of us all bu cheerful"
"Not the end of the world, just darkness over everything," Charlie cheerfully said "It gets dark - turn on a light"
"Good for you, Charlie Now ’scuse et my car out of iives you lemons you make lemonade’ speech and I have to beat you senseless"
(It’s true, there is little more obnoxious than a Beta Male in love So conditioned is he to the idea that he will never find love, that when he does, he feels as if the entire world has fallen into step with his desires - and thus deluded, he er for hiet my date book"
"Me, too I left mine on the front seat of the car You know those two clients I missed - they’re here Alive"
"Audrey told ether She did that p’howa of undying thing on the the cosmic shit storm, but what can we do? We can’t kill the to happen here in San Francisco and it’s going to happen now And since you’re the Lu on your shoulders So I’d say we’re dooottenor someone has intervened to pull out a victory I think destiny is on our side I feel very optied the monk," said Minty
"I’ into the room with a sheaf of papers in hand
"Oh, shit," said the Death Merchants in unison