Page 3 (1/2)

THREE

All sheds sh I hadn&039;t been in all sheds, I had confidence s and ht typical of late fall in Minnesota, I circled around to the backyard and into the shed, then setaround

The shed was as creaky and old as the mansion, which had been built in 1860 or 1720 or 1410 or soured the last time the shed had been cleaned hile Lincoln was still walking around on the planet

Also, like all sheds, it was , it seeer It&039;s like a ballroom in here! A filthy ballroom that smelled like mouse poop and had a dirt floor I couldn&039;t tell if this chore wasdue to enhanced vampiric senses, or because I was an indifferent ho, tooright! My cat was dead

I found a shovel-sized piece of rust, grabbed the pillowcase, and went to the far backyard Though I had zero interest in doing my chores, I couldn&039;t fault the mansion for its size and beauty, and I liked that the yard was huge, not one of the postage-staood trick in a city the size of St Paul

I walked toward a couple of the big old oak trees in the left cornerthey were naked now, but in the sureat If Giselle had ever expressed a desire to be buried (by me), I liked to think she&039;d have asked for this corner

It had been a mild fall, and there were only a couple of inches of snow, but the ground was frozen Nor, but I had confidence inthe queen of all va to the point where I could think of hter Give ht be able to pull it off withth of the da and stupid keen sense of ser And as the shovel slid through frozen dirt like a sh a raspberry, another one came to me One I&039;d stupidly discounted when I took on otten s They were a huuuuge downside

And here they cae

FOUR

Several neighborhood dogs (I&039;d guessin ht and, for many poor dumb stupid slobs, would have been But I, Elizabeth Taylor, courageous vampire queen, knew they were no match for my awesorasping the handle of the shovel-sized piece of rust, I bravely faced the onco nemeses

Well, no Dropped the shovel and ran like hell for the back door is what I did, with the hounds of heck slobbering atperson I wasn&039;t a cat person, either I was a Betsy person And believeain) and out of divorce court-was enough of a challenge without throwing domestic animals into the mix Or wild ones, even

Stupid Book of the Dead, with its stupid predictions and the way it stupidly drives people who read it insane which is so stupid, and warning s will constantly want to drool on me &039;cuz I&039;s run, anyway? I was superhuman, dammit, I shouldn&039;t even be worried about how this race would end Let&039;s see, like the itive has been on the run for ninetyinjuries is four ives us a radius of six ot what a radius was and how to calculate it, ain

"What I want froht Deputy Gerard est pain-in-the-ass boss ever? Coooses the office staff at the US Marshall&039;s office, too " is a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, fars, that&039;s what I should be focused on Bleah, I could slance, but lance, and it ful Horrible, horrible enhanced va spit and-was that? It was! Poop!

I lunged for the front porch (didn&039;t bother with the back door, which was sheavy door knocker, then skidded right past the front door, slah wooden post partition And I did it so hard, h the wood and I found myself up to my shins in splinters O! God darip, creating a shower of wood splinters that pattered all around me This wasn&039;t over, porch! Ti eht be a level ten

I ed to scra ass over teakettle had cost ulfed

"Nnnnnnn! Geh! Geh off! Off! Gehhh!" I howled and pounded on the door, which was the size of a walk-in freezer door and about as strong And as I pounding on it? Who&039;d locked it behind uns every second Wednesday, we printed our address in national newsletters, olves routinely dropped by and tried to kill us, psychos routinely dropped by and tried to kill us, the friggin&039; Antichrist had her own set of keys to our hoized from outside before she used them, because the Antichrist routinely channeled Miss Manners), but no my rooestating bitch "Letthe stupid cat, I didn&039;t think I needed h-choked voice drifted fro-free side: "Whatisthe password?"

"You fucker, open this door!"

"That," the king of the vampires replied, "was last week&039;s password"

"Sinclair!"

"Also incorrect"

"You shit! You think there won&039;t be giant payback for this? There will beon the couch for the next five decades" I risked a glance overThey were everywhere! They were going to get drool and fur all over et all over h usually in that dreaoners, like how you know terrible things in your drea because you also know, in your drea can stop it Poop everywhere Poop-smeared Prada Everywhere My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken er, darling"

"Sez you, butt monkey! Open! This! Door! That&039;s a royal coive royal commands and also allowed to kill you and eat you if you disobey, and I don&039;t mean that in a sexy way, either!"

The door opened so quickly I fell into our entryway, shrieking all the way down "Die! Die! Die! D-oh I&039;m inside now"

Sinclair shut the door, and I heard the thud-thud of a couple of the dogs not being able to stop in tis "Why didn&039;t I try the royal-coroaned from my splayed position on the floor

My ferociously handso down at ht, faultlessly dressed in a navy blue Hugo Boss suit, a crisp pale blue dress shirt, and the tie Marc

(O God Marc)

had given hiround and the standard physician&039;s eye chart in white "Read the second line from the bottom"like that "Because, my heart, you so rarely think of yourself as our queen"

"Huh?" The tie had surprisedMarc, and should try harder to keep that infirst"

"Yes indeed, my own You should have"

"Really, Sink Lair?" I rolled over and glared at hiross evil errors by lecturingme up?"

"Oh, never" He smiled and stuck out his hand "As your subject and your husband and your cosovereign-"

"How can you be ative, and only mine Unless, of course, you count your dear ed no one in particular I grabbed his outstretched hand and used it to haulthe beanstalk Sinclair was really tall Cli him to the top took forever "And in case you didn&039;t hear all "

"I hate you, you treacherous jerk"

"Ah, but I love you, my dearest queen"

"You should save time," I threatened, "anduntil dawn"