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PART I

Lahter

1953 / Roald Dahl

Wife kills husband with frozen leg of la it to the cops Serviceable-enough Dahl offering, though Lambiase questioned whether a professional housewife could successfully cook a leg of la, or h, unevenly cooked(or criins to unravel Despite this reservation, it irl I knoho loved James and the Giant Peach once upon a time

—AJF

On the ferry from Hyannis to Alice Island, A for them to dry, skims her predecessor’s notes “Island Books, approximately 350,00000 per annum in sales, the better portion of that in the summer months to folks on holiday,” Harvey Rhodes reports “Six hundred square feet of selling space No full-time employees other than owner Very s online presence Poor comood for us, but Fikry’s tastes are very specific, and without Nic, he can’t be counted on to hand-sell Luckily for hi a slight hangover—and wonders if one persnickety little bookstore will be worth such a long trip By the tiht-sided nature has kicked in: Of course it’s worth it! Her specialty is persnickety little bookstores and the particular breed that runs theht wine at dinner (and the coordinating skill, tending friends who’ve had too much to drink), houseplants, strays, and other lost causes

As she steps off the ferry, her phone rings She doesn’t recognize the number—none of her friends use their phones as phones anylad for the diversion and she doesn’t want to becoood news can only co and callers one already knows The caller turns out to be Boyd Flanagan, her third online dating failure, who had taken her to the circus about six months back

“I tried sending you a et it?”

She tells him that she recently switched jobs so her devices have been screwed up “Also, I’ve been rethinking the whole idea of online dating Like whether it’s really for me”

Boyd doesn’t seeain?” he asks

Re: their date For a time, the novelty of the circus had distracted fro in coreater truth of their incompatibility had been revealed Perhaps it should have been obvious from their inability to reach consensus on an appetizer or fros”—antiques, houses, dogs, people Still, Amelia had not allowed herself to be certain until dessert, when she’d asked hireatest influence on his life, and he’d replied Principles of Accounting, Part II

Gently, she tells hiain

She can hear Boyd breathing, fluttery and irregular She worries that he ht?” she asks

“Don’t patronize me”

A up, but she doesn’t Some part of her wants the story What is the point of bad dates if not to have a anecdotes for your friends? “Excuse me?”

“You’ll notice I didn’t call you right away, Amelia,” he says “I didn’t call you because I had met soive you a second chance So don’t be thinking you’re superior You’ve got a decent s and so is your ass and you’re not twenty-five anyift horse in the ins to cry “I’m sorry I’m really sorry”

“It’s fine, Boyd”

“What’s wrong with ht? And I’m not so bad”

“You were great The circus was very creative”

“But there must be a reason you don’t like me Be honest”

At this point, there are many reasons not to like him She picks one “Do you re and you said you weren’t much of a reader?”

“You’re a snob,” he concludes

“About so I have to go” As up the phone She is not vain about her looks and she certainly doesn’t value the opinion of Boyd Flanagan, who hadn’t really been talking to her anyway She is just his most recent disappointment She has had disappointments, too

She is thirty-one years old and she thinks she should have met someone by now

And yet

Aht-sider believes it is better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn’t share your sensibilities and interests (It is, right?)