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OMG, Muone insane

Not normal Mum-insane Serious insane

Norluten-free diet I read about in the Daily Mail!” Mu our oes on strike and Mum hides her sandwich in the flower bed and next e’re not gluten free anymore

That’s normal Mum-insane But this is serious insane

She’s standing at her bedroom hich overlooks Rosewood Close, where we live No, standing sounds too nor over the edge, a wild look in her eye And she’s holding my brother Frank’s coe Any round That’s seven hundred pounds’ worth of computer

Does she realize this? Seven hundred pounds She’s always telling us we don’t know the value ofstuff like “Do you have any idea how hard it is to earn ten pounds?” and “You wouldn’t waste that electricity if you had to pay for it”

Well, how about earning seven hundred pounds and then deliberately sround?

Below us, on the front lawn, Frank is sca his head and gibbering with panic

“Muh-pitched with terror “Mum, that’s my computer!”

“I know it’s your computer!” Mum cries hysterically “Don’t you think I know that?”

“Mum, please, can we talk about this?”

“I’ve tried talking!” Mu, reasoning, bribing…I’ve tried everything! EVERYTHING, Frank!”

“But I need my computer!”

“You do not need your computer!” Mum yells, so furiously that I flinch

“Mu onto the grass and looking up in disbelieving joy Felix is our little brother He’s four He greetsjoy A lorry in the street! Ketchup! An extra-long chip! Mu a computer out of theis just another one on the list of daily miracles

“Yes, and then the computer will break,” says Frank fiercely “And you won’t be able to play Star Wars ever again, ever”

Felix’s face cruer

“Frank!” she yells “Do not upset your brother!”