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Which is not to say there isn’t a satellite dish now, but, hello, this is raolf channel Where is MTV 2, I ask you? Where is the Lifetime Movie Channel for Women?

Not that itrun off et a free o, “Ho hum, I wonder if there’s a Tracey Gold movie on”

Oh, yeah, and the toilets? Let me just tell you that back in the 1600s, they didn’t know so e So now, four hundred years later, if you put one square too much toilet paper in the bowl and try to flush, you create a mini indoor tsunami

So that’s it That is my life in Genovia

Every other kid I know is spending his or her winter break in Aspen skiing, or in Mia tanned

Butfor my winter break?

Well, here are the highlights froirl wouldn’t love to get a datebook for Christmas?) of what I have done so far:

Sunday, December 21Royal Daily Schedule

Arrived in Genovia Due to large bagful of Skittles consuht over, almost barfed on official Genovian welcoreet me as I disembarked from the plane

One full day since I last saw Michael Tried calling hirandparents’ house in Boca Raton, where the Moscovitzes have gone for winter break, but no one answered, perhaps because of ti six hours ahead of Florida

Monday, December 22 Royal Daily Schedule

While touring naval cruiser, the Prince Phillipe, tripped over anchor, accidentally knocking Adh They fished him out with a harpoon

But why am I the only one in this country who thinks pollution is an i to dock their yachts in the Genovian harbor, they really ought to pay attention to what they are throwing overboard I et their noses stuck in those plastic six-pack holders all the time, and then they starve to death because they can’t open their mouths to eat All people have to do is snip the loops before they throw the holders out, and everything would be fine

Well, all right, not everything, since you shouldn’t be throwing trash overboard in the first place

I simply cannot stand idly by while helpless sea creatures are being abused by a bunch of Bain de Soleil addicts in search of that perfect Saint-Tropez tan

Two days since last saw Michael Tried calling hirandmother answered and said I had just one to the pharrandfather’s prescription foot powder This is so like hi of others before himself

Tuesday, December 23Royal Daily Schedule

At breakfast with Genovian Olive Growers Association,Mediterranean area must be the “pits” No one see, particularly members of Olive Growers Association

Three days since last saw Michael No time to call due to pit controversy

Wednesday, December 24Royal Daily Schedule