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NEW YEAR

An earlybehind a wet sheen that shihtless clouds chased the breeze across the bright blue sky The sun rease-stained fast food wrappers atto the car, but outside the world looked new Clean Hopeful Even the sign welco students to campus had been freshened Not replaced, of course, but the branches that used to obscure it had been trimmed back The weeds and wildflowers tamed It was a new year A new start

My father drove under the gates and started the long wind up the hill toward campus I held my breath until the stone spire atop the Easton Acade, started to sprint I leaned forward between the two front seats, to gauge er-sideof our dusty, dented Subaru, slack jawed "The catalog does not do this place justice," she said "What did I tell you?" my father replied with a hint of pride He, after all, had seen Easton before My mother had not She had always been in too much of a bitter, prescription-pill haze to join us on the long drive from Croton, Pennsylvania, to Easton, Connecticut Or even to care that I was leaving But that was all over now Moht Had color in her face Actually washed her hair now Daily I had only been home to see this behavior for teeks, but seen it I had With my oo eyes Before that, I had spent most of the summer on Martha's Vineyard with Natasha and her fa at a waterside seafood restaurant and learning how to sail from Natasha and her dad Once Natasha had left for Dartmouth, I had come home for a quick pit stop to find the house clean and freshly painted, the fridge fully stocked, my mother's bed actuallyto the new and improved Mom

"Reed, it's beautiful,"her eyes onover Focused On hed "Neither can I" Especially after everything that had happened last year In my first few months at Easton I had fallen in love for the first tiirls at school and stood by totally naive while one of them had brutallyBut no I was not going to think about that I sat back and clenched ernails intoa new start this year Last year was over Last year couldn't touch one Transferred or co I wanted it to be

My heart fluttered with nerves and excitement as my father pulled out of the trees and onto the circle in front of the underclassmen dorms Kiki Bosen and Diana Waters stood next to a black town car as their oversized Coach and Louis Vuitton suitcases were unloaded for them Kiki had chopped her blond hair into a pixie cut and had dyed her bangs pink, but she still had an iPod perrown her hair out so that it tumbled over her shoulders, and she seemed taller--older They looked up as my car passed by and waved I waved back and smiled Familiar faces Last year on this day I had known no one Last year I had felt like INow there were people to welco to be different My dad pulled the Subaru up in front of a sleek white Mercedes and killed the engine I cli s of Bradwell I could tell from the ay that the roo in several of the s, and so to Avril at top volues at Easton this year According to the information packet I'd received over the su his presence known One of his changes was the arrival schedule Freshmen and sopho them ti the circle less packed and chaotic for unloading Myher eyes with her hand as she looked up at the gray stone facade "This was s House is behind it, on the quad" Just saying the word Billings brought on a rush of anxiety I had alht was my friend had actually attempted to uy I loved Or thought I loved I wasn't sure if I'd ever kno I'd really felt about Thoone

My fingernails dug into s wasn't that place Not any seht breeze tossed my hair back from my face I looked up at the sun and s hope crowd out the fear "Well, that's everything,"his hands on his jeans "These other girls sure have a lot of stuff" I looked up and down the line of cars There were e and electronics and plastic boxes and linens My two bags, new leather backpack, and bed-in-a-bag did look sorry in comparison I reached into the car and pulled out ifts from Natasha at the end of the summer

A girl ins First Honors for two straight quarters cannot be seen writing all her papers at a library computer, she'd told me You are not a caveperson Yes, after two unstellar quarters at the beginning of the year (bla with acadeeance and taken Firsts in both March and June Natasha, overachiever that she was, had been so proud I s with her My nerves sizzled with anticipation, wondering who ood So okay, kiddo?"his war to be a good year," I told him with a confident smile "Definitely better than last"

"Well, that shouldn't be too hard to accohed My heart was suddenly so full, it threatened to shole Look at us Standing there together We could alet to use very often "Thanks sothe top of my head I turned to ht inher "I'ly "Thanks, Mo the engine Driving away My ertips to thein a wave I lifted my arm in return Waited there until the dented Pennsylvania license plate had dipped behind the hill At that second I realized with a start that I was going toto s filled with a whole new confidence Suddenly, anything felt possible

"Against ranted you both your electives The Modern Novel on top of junior English shouldn't be too challenging But taking Advanced Placement Chey in one year is a bit ambitious, even for you"

Mrs Naylor's jowls had grown They hung so low over her collar, she could have easily tucked them in Her eyes swam in their sockets as she looked across her desk at rown accustomed to Behind her the wooden bookcases were ja into haphazard piles on the floor The rancid onion se to it Like so had crawled in here, eaten the rancid onions, then died "Well, I'm sure the dean w

ouldn't have allowed me to take them if he didn't think I was up to it," I replied sweetly, slipping"On the contrary Students who earn First Honors are always given their choice of courses, no ht think," she said, the jowls flapping around

I had to pressLast year she had intimidated me This year she and her badly drawn eyeliner were just ridiculous "Is there anything else?" I asked She narrowed her eyes Folded her craggy fingers on her desk "No Youyou and your drop slip very soon" I stood up, sliding the wooden chair back with a loud scrape "I wouldn't count on that"

I turned e, and sed to say exactly what I wanted to say at the ht of Noelle As I stepped out into the sun, I wondered where she was right then Whether she was thinking of Easton Whether she ishing she were here Last year I had heard that her father's lawyers had exhibited their Olyes reduced, then landed her the relatively cushy punishment of probation and coe I hadn't heard one word from Noelle since Christmas Day, when she'd called to convince me to come back to Easton Not an e-mail, not a text, not a phone call Sometimes my world felt empty without her in it Sometimes I felt beyond lucky to be free of her

But I knew one thing for sure: Without Noelle, I wouldn't be here I wouldn't be alive, for one But I wouldn't be here at Easton if she hadn't madein my chest as I strolled away fro Toestures every tih comedy, that "Pass it! Pass it!" About a dozenin the center of the quad, the sleeves of their dress shirts rolled up, their shoes discarded on the sidelines in favor of cleats and sneakers I paused So about this felt familiar A deja vu moment I heard my name on the breeze, and round This was almost the exact spot where I'd nearly tripped over him last year Where we'd first met First flirted First started whatever it e had My scalp tightened My fingertips tingled He'd been here He'd been right here"Reed!"