Page 36 (2/2)

Carla shrugged “I just don’t see the point in shaving your balls if you’re not going to drag them across a person’s face Did you like- when you- you know- did you lick them?”

“No! Dear lord god, what is wrong with you?”

“See No point inof balls… we have to take Mr Twinkletoes to the vet toht after ten”

On cue, their new rescue cat, a huge orange tabby that followed Carla houy was the size of a house He wasHe only had half a tail and the end was covered in scars where the hair no longer grew His body was flappy and saggy, and his coat was dull In short, he was a reen eyes that Muffy had ever seen Carla was a sucker when it came down to animals She couldn’t stand lost causes in men, but cats- that was a different story She’d scooped the ancient street cat up and promised him a better life

“Mr Twinkletoes!” Muffy extended her hand, but the cat sniffed at her and hissed before sauntering off She turned back to Carla, shocked “What’s gotten into him?”

“Oh, I told him this time tomorrow he’d be ball-less and flawless”

“Carla! You can’t tell hi like that You’ll scar him for life!”

“Nah” Carla shoved in a handful of popcorn She licked the butter off her fingers before dipping the bowl for more “Have you seen hi his baby-makers”

“You’re terrible, you know that?”

“No way I could have left hiid cold, but now he’s living the life I was thinking about rescuing another and getting him a friend”

“Well… the apartet another”

“You ry?”

“No, of course not Maybe it would cheer et a man to stick, I’ll just turn into a crazy cat lady God I can practically feelup as we speak”

“You’re better off without losers in your life Especially ones who insult your na with your name”