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For Adam

My darling Tempest,

I was just in your roos, breathing in the soft, sweet scent of you, and wondering how I a to live the next part of my life without you I know that you know my secret, but I don’t think you truly understand what it means Every day that I stay on land, I look at the sea and pine for the life I used to have But when I am in the water, I look at land and pine for you For you, and my sons and my husband

I thought, when I married your father, when I had you and your brothers, when I chose land, that this longing would go away That if it didn’t recede completely, it would at least be bearable

But there is nothing bearable about the pain I feel, as if I’ve been wrenched into so ain—at least not here, on the shore I tell you this not because I want your understanding, as I know that will be hard to come by, but because soon you too will have to make such a choice

Already you have special gifts—your affinity for the water and your ability, even now, to stay strong where others would give in—and there will cos are coined they would be There is so much I want to tell you, and so much that I can’t So I must settle for this

When that tiifts makes itself known—soe And you will have three months to make a choice: to stay hat you know or to become like in the change, you will crave the ocean unconditionally, and I’s are complicated in relationships between mermaids and humans, if it is at all possible, I will coh I know that you can handle whatever you are faced with

Please know that whether you choose my way or your father’s, I will love you forever This is not good-bye, only farewell for now

I love you,

Mom

PART ONE

CaughtInside

“Eternity begins and ends with the ocean’s tides”

—ANONYMOUS

PROLOGUE

I was ten the first time I saw her I remember this clearly, because my mother left exactly teeks later—on my eleventh birthday

We were in Hawaii at a surfing competition—this was back when my father still coh that thescoop of French vanilla ice crealoas more than my preadolescent heart could resist, and I slipped into ot distracted with er brothers

I suppose any reasonable explanation of that night would have to begin with the fact that I’m a water baby I was born into water, literally, back when that was the hip new thing to do A bunch of doctors said it reduced trau born into ater, so like the womb—and it must have worked Because, while I obviously don’t remember it, my dad says I didn’t even cry I just slid into the water like it was home In many ways, it still is—despite what happened to o