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Her state to He’d want me to stay indefinitely, but I haven’t even told hiht

Hopefully

He provides the place I live, s attached, or so he claims Really, I believe his Plenty of strings that tie ether until we’re so connected that we’d beco word Not just Jen Not just Colin

JenandColin

No way is that gonna happen

So if I can’t have him—and really, I shouldn’t want him, or have allowed —then I’ to claim my freedom completely

Stupid and risky and totally freakin’ scary, butI need to do it Recent events have pushedin the foro He came into the bar and ordered a drink Thankfully, I was able to avoid him and he left without incident

This could happen again, though Having the man there was a reminder that I can never escape my past I don’t want Colin to knohat I’ve done He won’t like me anymore He’ll look differently at me

I don’t think I could stand that

Desperately needing to change the subject, I ask, “How does it look?”

Fable tilts her head, exa the tattoo on the back of my neck “It’s beautiful But you’ll never really see it”

“There’s such a thing astooff thehair is piled on top ofmy neck, the reddened skin, and the butterfly

It’s a delicate sketch in gentle shades of blue and black, looking as if it could soht off ine hoesome it’ll look when the skin is healed!

“I love it,” I breathe as I hand the mirror back to Dave, who sets it on the counter beside him

“It’s pretty,” Fable agrees with a smile on her face “I’m proud of you, Jen I know you were scared to come here”

More like petrified, but now I’ot a tattoo and I didn’t cry or run out of the shop before big, burly Dave got his needle on ht do Kind of stupid, to be proud of so as simple as this If my mom ever sees it, she’ll flip out My dad will think I’utter tra theo back, and they’re not exactly welcolad to be rid of me I was a burden

I have a feeling Colin won’t really like et it for anyone else Just me

Dave’s now placing a bandage onoff the care instructions in a monotone, as if he’s said this before a million times, which he probably has He hands lance it over, not really seeing the words My brain is too occupied with these people in my life who I wish I could please but rarely do

They haunt et rid of Even ColinI live with the man

Fable’s cell rings, and frolances at her phone, I know it’s Dreatch her step away to talk to hi it hurt

I want that, though I’d never admit it out loud, and certainly not to Fable Unconditional love, a —to ensure I’m happy Safe Secure Loved

If I’ honest with myself, I’d like to have that with Colin

He acts like he wants more, but then he always pulls back I’ve shared more intimate moments with him than with anyone else in my entire life I’ve slept in his bed He’s heldbeyond the sort of kiss a brother bestows on his sister’s cheek or forehead

Confirrew up together, Colin and I Well, Danny, Colin, and I My brother and Colin were best friends They were supposed to join the Marines together, but so into the service Then he went to Afghanistan

And never came back

He’s the ghost who hangs in e orbrother reminds me that sometimes, the choices I , he never would have forgiven me

Also, he s for Colin I alonder if Danny would approve Would he want ht like hell to ensure Colin and I never happened?

It doesn’tto happen No matter how badly I want us to, he doesn’t Not really He likes havingthere as a sort of crutch for hiet out of hand

But he doesn’t want me Not in the way that matters most Not in the way that I want him to

So forget it Forget us

Tonight, I’h time for hih time for me to find a new apartment, a new job, and a new life in a new city I know exactly where I’ by the seat ofmy life on a whim

Well, sort of I’ve always been an iotten et me in trouble now

Colin’s going to be angry that I’ive ht thing I need to go I need to really learn how to live -away shit and living out of my car like I did last time I’m older now Smarter Wiser

I need to fly and be free

Colin

The restaurant is hopping It’s late August and the students are back in earnest, which means The District is back in business The bar is packed, , and the kitchen is a stea taken out again and again, since it seeht

They all want to get their drink on Celebrating being back at school, or drowning their misery in alcohol because they’reback at school

I don’t care which it is As long as they keep buying drinks and leaving hefty tips for the hardworking staff, I’m satisfied

“Hey, you’re the owner, right?”

Glancing up, I see a pretty girl standing in front of me, a hopeful smile on her face She probably wants a job I just hired a new hostess late last week, so at the ive out applications You never knohen you’re going to lose soood help is hard to find “I a to take her all in Check her out