Page 59 (1/1)

1 Green Jell-O and Snapping Turtles

I have a dream

And in this dream I’m under the covers in bed, just a few scant inches away fro next to low froh illumination for me to see the shallow rise and fall of his chest The sheet is draped low over his hips as he sleeps peacefully with one ar on his taut, naked stomach I slide my body ever so slowly across the bed, careful not to disturb him, until I’ me from head to toe I pull my arms out from under the sheet and my hands reach out towards hiers up his body, andchoke the ever living shit out of him

Okay, that’s not really a drea I fantasize about when business is slow at the shop, when I’rocery store, or pretty le day when I findand cranky froh with this fantasy I love Carter I really do Sometimes it’s just a toss-up on whether or not I love sleep more

A few o, I hadn't even known Carter existed Okay, I knew he existed; somewhere out there, over the rainbow, in a land far, far away living his own life I never believed in a ht-stand fro on both counts A land far, far away had turned out to be a few ured he had never given? Well,a Harlequin Ro for ot away'

That'sattention

Here I ale ift I received in appreciation of uy I spontaneously gave said virginity to after a rousing ga at a frat party shows up in my home town to whisk me off my feet and claim the son he never knew he had This doesn’t happen in real life Sohes movies

Alright, so Carter has never stood outsidea radio above his head and he's never run down the street to sweepkiss and hand ave to some other skank just hties movie There have been anxiety attacks, freak-outs, drunken rauer eye-threats, and chocolate covered sex in a public place that only by the hair of a gnat’s testicle avoided being publicly televised Through it all though, Carter and I have h our problems with the speed an accuracy of a thirty-minute sitcom on prime time television It’s no “Some Kind of Wonderful,” but it’s da for h

In theht? Why not add onepile There’s a reason why I have a e that says, “You can sleep when you’re dead”

My best friend Liz and I had always talked of one day owning businesses together While I was busy with the whole singleand put e and got a head start on her dream Little did I know, she had alsowith my ability to sneeze and not piss myself

I’ve always been a pretty independent person, so having soe with a bow on top took soe frorandfather when he passed away years earlier and putting thatwhere we could have adjoining businesses was the only option for her It had taken et my head out of my ass and realize that she didn’t do it out of pity She had done it because she lovesher dream come true wouldn’t havea reality right along with her

So in sus us back totakes a little getting used to So far there are onlyqualities we find in each other, and we’ve overco I love Carter ht possible, and he has proven to be the best father a woman could ever want for her son But I swear to God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and Christ’s childhood friend, Biff, that if he doesn’t stop wakingo David Carradine on his ass

Oh yes, young grasshopper, you shall choke in your sleep

Although the more I think about it, David Carradine choked hi, didn’t he? I don’t think I can convince Carter to choke hiet

I’ve tried everything to ently pushed his arle, a si

False And shut up, everything on Google is true! How else would I know that the world’s oldest living goldfish is forty-one and his nale search the page will tilt slightly clockwise? These are facts, people!