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Pushing the thought away, I focus on the now, on my man

My man

I’ht that feels He’s mine and that’s all there is to it

“It’s okay,” I whisper, blinking back a tear as the s to ”

“I know,” he says “I’ve just never talked about this before, with anyone”

We wait in silence, our breath fogging the air, as the sound of laughter rises up from the ice rink and reaches us quietly I can tell we’re both content to wait for a time

When he finally speaks again, his voice is low, distant, and not at all Santa-like

“A drug dealer broke into our aparthborhood, a real down-and-out sort of place So I wasn’t even surprised when this prick busted through our door…”

“How old were you?” I ask when he trails off into a brooding dark quiet

“I was nine Nine and se”

“I can’t ihtness into my voice

“I had a growth spurt when I was in my teens,” he tells me, with the faint shadow of a smirk on his face

There’s another pause, longer this tis the tears on my cheeks Nick nods down the slope, toward the mall, a silent question in his eyes

Shall we get going?

I nod and we begin to descend the slope together, sloithout needing to speak about it It’s the sort of silent communication I never would’ve expected to share with anehen it comes to Nick

I never would’ve expected to share so much closeness, so much warmth, so much instant need

“The junkie shot theht-up reindeer watching us, Rudolph’s red nose seeht of Nick’s story “Then he panicked He didn’t knohat to do and…”

Nick walks past the reindeer, ignoring the entrance to the ainst the brickwork instead He places his hands on his knees, letting out heavy breaths

“It’s okay,” I whisper, strokingonto his face because it’s the only thing I can think to do