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Gray breaks ame half “My moms make these every Christ day they do—they both have a bunch of sisters, so irl cousins come over and make like a million different kinds”

“And you taste test?” I joke

Gray snorts “You thinkon my ass while a bunch of woh “I do my fair share I’ll have you know I’m an excellent measurer”

“I don’t doubt that,” I say with a s family?”

“Huge,” Gray says, finishing his cookie in two bites “Like, twenty-two first cousins And some of them have kids now too It’s a zoo”

“That sounds nice,” I tell hi a teaspoon to scoop a mound of whipped cream out of“It’s always just been Gracie and ram”

“Oh yeah?” Gray looks interested “Is she cool?”

“She’s the best,” I say i out the part where she’s not always reliably herself these days “And I actually just found out she’s got this whole secret Riot Grrrl past I never knew about”

“That’s awesorin

We sit in the coffee shop for a long tila an espresso, and still I’ood question asker, full of self-deprecating stories about being the only guy in a faot a sister nao

“You guys will like each other,” he says, totally confident, and I can’t help but smile at his use of the future tense

Finally the baristas start wiping down the tables in a way that feels like a hint We head out andon the cobblestones Laughter spills out the doors of the bars It should feel festive—Christhts and garlands strung up over the empty street—but out here in the cold and the dark I can feel the cloud of dread that’s been following otten about yesterday’s conversation with Bex while Gray and I were hanging out—I’d forgotten about all of it, actually—but forgetting only works for so long This whole thing is still a baffling, hu to do?

Gray can tell so up the conversation for both of us, but as we tap our cards at the entrance to the brightly lit T station he pauses

“Everything okay?” he asks, his cheeks gone pink from the cold “It feels kind of like you justwent somewhere”

I shake ,” I promise as we take the escalator to the elevated train platform, the dark expanse of the Charles River visible in the distance The giant neon Citgo sign glohite and orange and blue “It’s dumb”