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and tugging et them at a record store, like a person with half an ounce of self-respect”

I h, startled by the contact and thebad is about to happen He reaches out and pushes a loose strand of hair away from my face

I don’t have tih, because that’s when Bex puts his free hand on my cheek, ducks his head, and kisses me

My brain shorts out for a second, lights flickering during a thunderstorm It’s like his mouth is pressed to someone else’s, not mine I stand there frozen and let him do it in the moment, until I feel his hand move down from my face toward my chest Suddenly every panic response into life

“U an instinctive step backward My neck feels like it’s on fire My skin is two sizes too s?”

“Easy,” Bex says i his hands up in surrender, a half sht you—” He breaks off, clearing his throat “Easy”

“U another step toward the doorway I re out to dive bars in her twenties, how at the end of the night the bartender would suddenly shut off the hts all the way up, the fun abruptly over and the whole world in stark relief “No, I just—I should probably go”

“Oh! Yeah, totally,” Bex says He pats his pockets, flustered “Lerab my keys and I can—”

“You knohat?” I shake my head “It’s not too far from here I can totally walk”

Bex frowns “Marin,” he says “Hey Can we just talk for a—”

“That’s okay,” I say, ht and esture toward the doorway “I should Um Enjoy your weekend!”

I thunder down the narrow stairs and hoof it all the way ho—hingredients for a winter spice cake to bring to ram while Gracie plays chess on her laptop at the kitchen table

“Hey,” she says, setting the bag of flour on the counter “I ondering what happened to you” She looks atlike possibly she can see the blood ?”

I hesitate for aback and forth betweenhonest with myself, there’s always been a tiny part of me that wondered if maybe some of the stuff Bex said wasn’t totally aboveboard, if a teacher that chill and funny—and, okay, hot—was too good to be true If sometimes his attention didn’t feeldifferent But I said yes to the ride anyway, didn’t I? I sat with him in the newspaper office

I agreed to go over to his house