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She would have only had to wait fifteen minutes for Jonny to be brain-dead and dead-dead And then, for the sake of authenticity, she would have retraced her steps, hurrying down the path as if she’d just discovered he wasn’t in the house When she spotted hi hirass She would have pulled back his head and pinched his nose

She would then have perforiven up She would have run back to the house, called 911, and waited the thirty minutes it would have taken for the volunteer fire department to arrive

And by then, it would have been far too late

Jonny would be dead—an accident! He had taken a nap in Old Jay’s bed, been attacked by chiggers, and had run into the pool to escape them, where, unfortunately, he had drowned

And what a happyshe would have been! Free of Jonny without the bued divorcée in New York Instead, her reputation would have grown as that of a tragic figure

She would have had what her English friends called “the black wedding” The black wedding hat you wished for ten years after you’d had the white wedding After you’d produced a couple of children and had had enough time to realize that yes, indeed, your husband was totally useless You wished for the black wedding—your husband’s funeral You’d get the money and the lifestyle and the children, without the hassle of the man

Of course, when it calish had always been far more practical than the Americans

Fuck, she thought, extracting a package of Cheddar cheese

The pathetic fact was, Jonny had e that when it came time to talk about a settlement, she’d had no cash left

Neither, unsurprisingly, did Jonny In fact, it turned out that technically, Jonny didn’t own anything at all

As a matter of fact, Jonny owed money And that ist of it This, and the fact that Jonny did, indeed, own so she owned

She’d had to promise to pay him her entire advance—the very sa her publishers to pay her when she delivered the book

And now, because her publishers had rejected her book, she would have no money to pay Jonny after all

She wandered into the library, looked up at the portrait of Lady Wallis Wallis, and cringed

On the other hand, it would be easy enough to pay Jonny off All she had to do was sell the portrait It was probably worth millions