Page 97 (1/2)

"Still, you had to be the one to do it and you did and you're going to do more" I insisted

He laughed and continued to eat He looked up at some dark clouds on the horizon

"I hope that storood time now I'd hate to have it slow us down"

"Maybe we shouldn't rest too long then" I said as he lowered hiain and closed his eyes

"Just a little longer" he said "Just a little"

I sat there, finishing my sandwich and drink When I sahat looked like a blackbird on the other side of the stream I couldn't help but think about Moain

"Harley?"

He didn't respond so I turned and looked at hiular: his eyes were closed I was thinking about calling Mommy, but what if she started to cry? What would I do?

I rose and walked to the water The gurgling sound wasand the water itself looked so clear, fresh and cool I felt like wading in it, baptizing my

self in its natural goodness and washing away the darkness that had settled in me ever since Duncan Fields trapped me in his car

Perhaps that was another reason why I was taking this trip with Harley Perhaps I was running away as well and trying to leave behind the innocent and e herself in self--pity every day I knew everyone was trying to help et me to feel better, but it was impossible to look into Daddy's eyes or Mommy's or Mrs Geary's and not see the sympathy and sorrow they felt for me It was truly as if I had become a marked woman, stained forever Ironically, it had been only Aunt Alison who leftas if I had merely been scratched But that wasn't a remedy for me either

Years ago, it seemed, men and women treated sex and love like halves of the same wondrous experience, the most important experience of life, perhaps the very reason to be Somehow, sex for people like Aunt Alison and Duncan Fields had becoame, a toy, a pleasure to be had and discarded at will People used people otten or thought to be just another teht not be there for us Why think about it, put any effort into achieving it or finding it? First of all, that required personal sacrifice and actually caring for someone else more than you cared for yourself Second, it took far too much trust and risk You had to bare your soul to someone

The Duncan Fieldses of the world thought they were very clever I' for conquests, building a bank account of satisfied lusts and thinking this hat made them wealthy, special, even desirable, but surely they were destined to wake up later in their lives and look around to discover they were all alone and their lives had been nothingby like this water

I looked ahead to where the stream turned and disappeared and wondered where it ended up Was there soh waterfalls first? Did it splinter and trickle off into smaller and smaller streams that eventually dried up? It wouldn't be dammed up here and kept It would find a way around and follow its destiny

It hat I had to do what Harley had to do