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"No," I replied firmly and with confidence and deterht"

"That's what I thought I'll be back in about two hours okay?"

"Yes," I said He kissed me and left

Undaunted I turned toward h I could rise from the fires of sadness that burned around me I chose one of my prettiest dresses to wear It occurred to arment since my accident I had lost all interest in how I looked whether I was in style or not That's going to change I thought Here Grandmother Hudson leftthat wasn't a h I was in a wheelchair, people still saw my feet It was still important to have nice shoes, and my hair should be attractive

I vowed in front of e my appearance I would replace this sickly, weak and pitiful look with a vibrant, hopeful one I could be pretty again Austin wasn't just saying nice things to make me feel better I saw it in his eyes, in the way he looked athim He did treasure me I'd lost my ability to walk, but not to be attractive

I couldn't deny that I wasn't so I had doneelse for art had always been around when I bathed I ran the water for ot undressed and manipulated myself out of the chair and into the tub, but once I was in I suddenly had this terrible fear I wouldn't be able to getthe bath iet out, just to be sure I could What if I was still here when Austin arrived? How e

In ed ainst the ceramic tile it took otout of the tub withot back into the chair and wheeled myself to the bedroom With the pain into put on my clothes, but at least I could do it However when I looked at myself in the mirror I saisted and creased hten it, and then I worked on putting on my shoes By the time I started on my hair I was exhausted

A noise in the bathroo in the tub and it had finally begun to run over

"Oh no!" I screaled to turn the chair in the small puddle that had already formed When I reached over to shut off the faucet completely, in my haste I slipped Before I could prevent it, I fell into the puddle, soaking one side of my dress

I screaht hand ached Then I caught my breath and pulled myself back into the wheelchair The wheels tracked water into the bedroo at usted with myself I dropped my arms down the side ofa wave of defeat and nausea wash over ed atlipsticks and eye shadow tubes in every direction I swept the vanity table clean and then, in an even wilder rush of madness and frenzy, I hurled lass from top to bottom Then I let my head fall forward and sat there like a twisted sack of potatoes

I never heard the doorbell, Finally Austin who had been ringing and ringing came around the house, looked in theme and tapped When I didn't wake up immediately, he opened theand climbed in

"Rain, Rain," he cried, shaking azing around the bedroo for a moment all I had done A cake of perfumed body talcum was spread over sone was shattered, its contents spilled near the wall Everything that had been on the vanity table was scattered and, of course, the mirror was cracked

"I was doing so well," I began, ot dressed and I worked on "

"What?" He looked back and saw the puddle "Oh" He went to the bathroom and looked in "The faucet's off"

"I know I did that but I fell out of the chair and I ruined ! "