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She stood up to go, s down her tight white skirt and trying to smile "If you want me to quit so you can hire a new nurse for Jory and his children, I'll do that"

"No, Toni, stay on," I answered quickly, afraid she'd go anyway I didn't want her to leave now that I kneithout a doubt that she didn't love Bart any to him And with the final hope dead, Jory had at last turned his eyes on the woman he believed was his brother's mistress

As soon as possible I was going to inform him differently Buteven as Toni left the roo of Bart and how sad it was that he couldn't hold on to love once he had it Did he deliberately destroy love, afraid it would enslave hi enslaved Chris, my own brother?

The endless days crept by No longer did Toni's eyes follow Bart istful yearning, pleadingI began to adardless of so ainst her,it seefully seduced

Dinner after dinner, sitting there and watching the two drift further and further apart, driven there by all the ugly words Bart found so easy to say

Toni took ames I used to entertain Jory withonly she could do so ain

Bit by bit the days began to reen, the crocus came up in the woods, the daffodils blossomed, the tulips fired into flame and the Grecian windflowers that Jory and I had planted everywhere the grass didn't grow turned the hills into paint-sain on the balcony watching the geese return north as we stared up at our old friend and soed skein as they disappeared beyond the hills

Life grew 'better with the co the weekends Tensions eased now that we had the great outdoors to escape to

In June the tere one year and six months old and able to run freely anywhere ould per frohor what they considered high enough to be dangerous They pulled the blossoms off the best of , enough to fill all the rooms with daily fresh bouquets

Now Bart was insisting that not only the twins should attend church services but Chris and I and Jory and Toni as well It see to do Each Sunday we sat in our front ros and stared up at the beautiful stained-glassbehind the pulpit The twins always sat between Jory and me Joel would don a black robe as he preached fire-andbri rip I had to listen or have my bones broken Next to Toni, deliberately separated from me by my second son, was Chris I knew those sermons were meant for us, to save us from eternal hellfires The tere restless, like all children their age, and didn't like the pew, the confine services Only e stood up to sing hymns did they stare up at us and seem enchanted

"Sing, sing," encouraged Bart, leaning to pinch tiny arolden locks

"Take your hands off , as is their choice"

It was on again, the war between brothers

Autuain, then Hallohen Chris and I took the twins by their shbor we considered "safe" enough not to recrioblins timidly accepted their first Halloween trick-or-treat candy, then screa two Hershey bars and two packs of chewing gum of their very own

Winter ca special happening, for this year Cindy didn't fly ho career to dodistance or write short but informative letters