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Melodie put Darren in the large cradle Chris had found in an antique shop and had refinished so it looked allared hard at Bart before once again gazing pensively into the roaring fire Seldom did she speak, and she showed no real interest in her children Only negligently did she pick them up, as if for show, as she showed no interest in any one of us, or anything we did

Jory shopped by ifts that were delivered almost daily to surprise her She'd open each box, faintly smile and say a weak thank you, and so Jory without even looking his way It pained me to see hi--why couldn't she try?

Each passing day saw Melodie withdrawing not only from her husband but, much to my amazement, also fro co at the candle flaot up in the ht to feed thee two diapers at once, and it was I who raced down to the kitchen to , I who took the ti soft lullabies while their huge blue eyes stared up at reat reluctance closed their eyes Often I could tell they were still listening from their srowing more and more like Cory and Carrie

If we lived isolated from society, we did not live isolated froht home with them from the local stores Often I overheard their whispers as they chopped onions, green peppers, and made the pies and cakes and other desserts we all loved to eat I knew ourin back halls and deliberatelyere alone, we'd let out ossip

Much of what they speculated on I speculated on as well Bart was so seldorateful for that With hiuments; Joel stayed in his room and prayed, or so I presumed

It ca thatout near the kitchenand when 'I did, our cook and ained fro many affairs with the prettiest and richest society ladies, both e that just happened to be one of the couples that had been on his Christ to what I overheard, Bart often visited a brothel ten miles away, not within any city's limits

I had evidence that soht be true Often I saw him coretfully, that he'd stay drunk Only then could he sh easily

One day I had to ask "What are you doing all those nights you stay out so late?"

He giggled easily when he drank too elists have been the worst sinners; he says you have to roll in the gutter filth to knohat it's like to be clean, and saved"

"And that's what you're doing all those nights, rolling in the gutter filth?"

"Yes, Mother darling--for damned if I knohat it's like to feel clean, or saved"

Spring approached cautiously like a timid bluebird Blustery cold winds softened to warm southern breezes The sky turned that certain shade of blue that ardens raking leaves and pulling up weeds that the gardeners overlooked

I couldn't wait to see the crocus peek froround in the woods, couldn't wait to see the tulips and daffodils and watch pink and white dogwood blosso forth Couldn't wait for the azaleas everywhere to hts, for the twins, for all of us I'd look up and admire the wonder of the trees that never seemed depressed or lonely Nature--how much we could learn if only ould

I took Jory with uide his sturdy electric chair with the huge balloon wheels that cliet you deeper into the woods," I said thoughtfully "Now, if we laid flagstones everywhere, they'd be very lovely, but if they freeze in the winter they'd poke up and could possibly snag your chair and tip you over As much as I hate cement, we'll have to use that or blacktop Somehow I like blacktop better, what about you?"

He laughed at my silliness "Red bricks, Mom Brick walks are so colorful, and besides, this chair ofwith pleasure, then tilted his face so the sun could warm it "I only wish Mel would accept what's happened to me and show more interest in the twins"