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I had my oillful youth clearly tucked in a memory closet, ready to jump forward and put the vision of Paul before meand the way I'd wanted him to teach me all the ways of love, especially whenuilt that even now I could cry to look up at the moon that had seen Chris's sin, and mine

About six Chris called to say he'd been trying to reachme Christmas Eve," he said cheerfully "I've hired a sno to precede ?"

"Fine, just fine," I lied, telling him Lance's father had fallen down the stairs and he had to fly ho ere all set for Christing to her rooms as if they offered her the only sanctuary in the world

"Cathy," said Chris in a tight voice, "how nice it would be if you'd only level with rounded Lance is, at this moment, not ten feet away from this very phone booth He ca I took care of his broken nose, his other wounds, and cursed Bart all the time That boy is a mess"

Early the next e and the nearest city were snowed under Travelers arned to stay ho to the weathermen who seemed to control our lives "Never before has there been a winterthe virtues of weather "Records are being broken"

Hour by miserable hour Cindy and I stood at the ith Jory often joining us to stare as we did at the snow co doith relentless determination to isolate us

Behindabout Santa Claus and telling the twins that surely he would find us Chris had written hi up on Christ, not even

reone on before

Hearing Jory cough brought h paroxyslanced at him fearfully

Soon he was heading his chair for his rooo with him but kneanted to do all he could for himself

"I'ot a cold That's why I brought Lance hoht we'd have a party, and being slightly drunk would take away the pall of living under the shadows of Bart and that creepy old Joel I was expecting Lance to keep ot no one but you, Mom to understand his proble to rim reaper--and that old man sends shivers up my spine We don't have any friends No one ever calls unexpectedly We're all alone, getting on each other's nerves And it's Christ At least that would give me the chance toup s"

Suddenly Bart was there, yelling at Cindy "You don't have to stay You're just the bastard my mother had to have"

Cindy blushed deeply red "Are you trying to hurt h with that!"

"Don't you ever call ain, bastard!"

"CREEP, JERK, CREEP, JERK!" she taunted, backing up and dodging behind chairs and tables, deliberately baiting hiive her dull day a bit of excitement