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Cindy's name wasn't mentioned, for obviously he'd never miss her "Do you really like Joel thathe seemed to irk you with his monkish ways"

Clouds shadowed his already dark eyes,me find myself, Mother, and if sometimes he annoys me, it's because I'm still so uncertain about my future He can't help his habits for with monks eren't allowed to speak, only pray out loud and sing at services He's told rim and lonelyyet he says he found peace there, and belief in God and everlasting life"

My arm dropped from his waist He could have turned to Chris and found everything he needed-- peace, security, and the faith that had sustained Chris throughout life Bart had blind eyes when it caoodness in a man who'd tried so hard to make a son out of Bart

But my relationship with my brother

conde but that

Sadly I left Bart and cli down at the workers in the yard I joined hi the sun hot on my head Silently atched all that bustle of activity, while I prayed this house was finally going to give us so other than misery

We napped for two hours, then ate a small dinner before all of us hurried back up to dress for the party I went again out onto the balcony that gave Chris and me so much pleasure Belowday filled the heavens with deep rose and violet, streaked it with e, and sleepy birds flew like dark tears toward their nests Cardinals weresounds, not chirps or cheeps but more like electronic, metallic bleeps When Chris stepped up beside me, damp and fresh from his shoe didn't speak or feel the need to; we just e doard, before we finally turned away and went inside

Bart, the child ofinto his own I held fast to ave him the assurance he needed that he had friends and ell liked I held off ain that it was Bart's just due, and ours, too

Maybe Bart would be satisfied tomorrohen the as reread Maybe, just maybeI wanted the best for his

Behindinto his tux trousers, stuffing in his shirttails, tying his o tie, then asking ain "Make the ends even" Gladly I retied it for him He brushed his beautiful blond hair that was just a bit darker in back than it had been when he was forty Each decade both darkened the blond and brought a touch more of silver in both our heads of hair Easily I could keep mine colored, but Chris refused to do that Fair hair had a lot to do with the w

ay I thought aboutlooking

Chris's reflectionover my shoulders His hands, so familiar to me now, moved to slip inside my bodice and cup my breasts before his lips pressed on my neck "I love you God, knohat I would do if I didn't have you"

Why was he always saying that?

As if he expected one day I'd leave or die before he did "Darling, you'd live, that's what You're important to society, I'm not"

"You're the one who keeps ," he whispered in a hoarse voice "Without you I wouldn't kno to continue on--but without ain"