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She whispered as if it hurt, "I'm sorry too"

I hugged her close, and we had come to some sort of compromise

All the way ho to open it "Dad," I began falteringly, "Madauess"

He threw lance and a smile "That's nice"

"I think it's terribly strange Mo She's never been sick more than a day or two Don't you think she looks very tired?"

"It's that writing, that da the heavy traffic, turning on the windshield wipers, leaning forward to peer ht "I wish it would stop raining Rain always bothers her Then she's up 'til four in the al pads, afraid to use the typewriter for fear of waking ive--and that's her health First that fall, now this cold" He gave lance "Then there's Bart and his problems, and you and yours Jory, you know our secret now Your mother and I have talked it over, and you and I have talked about it for hours and hours Can you forgive us? Haven't I ed to help you understand?"

I bowedto understand"

"Trying? Is it that difficult? Haven't I told you hoith us, up there, all four of us in one roo out in our adolescence that we had only each other"

"But, Dad When you ran away and found a new home with Dr Paul, couldn't you have found someone else? Why did it have to be her?"

Sighing, he set his lips "I thought I explained to you how I felt then about women Your mother was there when I needed her Our ownideas in your mind I'm sorry if you've been hurt by my inability to love anyone but her"

What was there for me to say? I couldn't understand The world was full of beautiful young woht of Melodie If she were to die could I go out and find another? I thought and thought about that as Dad turned silent and his lips stayed in that gri hard It was as if he could read my mind For yes, if ever I was so unfortunate to lose Melodie, if she , and eventually I'd find another to take her place Anything was better than

"Jory, I knohat you're thinking I've had years and years to think about why it had to be my sister and no one else Perhaps it was because I'd lost faith in all wo to us, and only iveapart during those long years of deprivations She was the one who made of that one room a whole house She was a mother to Cory and Carrie Shethe beds, scrubbing clothes in the bathroo the, it was the way she danced in the attic that made me love her, and put her in my heart forever For it see only forme the prince of her dreams, as I made her the princess of mine I was romantic then, even more so than she Your mother is made of different stuff than most women, Jory She could live on hate and still flourish, I couldn't I had to have love or die When we escaped Foxworth Hail, she flirted with Paul, wanting him to take her from me She married your father when Paul's sister, Aood wife to your father, but after he was killed she ran to the mou

ntains of Virginia to co her mother's second husband As you have found out, Bart is the son of my mother's husband, and not the son of Paul as we told you and told him We had to tell lies then, to protect you Then, after yourall those years I waited, I so as I held fast toIt was so easy for her to love other men It was impossible for me to find any woman who could coe, Jory Be careful whoet"

I let out a long withheld breath, thinking that life was not at all like fairy tale ballets, or TV soap operas Love did not coo with the seasons as I'd kinda hoped it would

The drive home seemed to take forever Dad was forced to drive very slowly and carefully From time to time he flicked his eyes to the dashboard clock I stared out of the s Everywhere there were Christaily lit Christ everything in that smeary way that made scenes ten times more romantic in the rain I wished it was last year I wished we had the happiness that had seemed so permanent then I wished that old woman next door had never coht was perfect I wished too that Madame M had never flown here to snoop in their lives, and reveal all their secrets better left hidden Worst of all, those toht, I still resented what they were doing, what they had done, risking scandal, risking ruining my life and Bart's, Cindy's too, and all because one man couldn't find another wo to keep hi