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“You know me too well” He sat beside her and tucked one foot beneath him so he was half turned in her direction “And sometimes I feel like I don’t know you at all”

“And I feel like you know me better than anyone I’ve evercryptic, aren’t I?”

“A bit”

She looked down at her lap “You’ve been very open with me, Tom, far more than I’ve been with you” She reached over and squeezed his hand “You told me about Erin, and that couldn’t have been easy I trust you, and that’s so very new for me And more than a bit scary”

Their fingers were still joined and she rubbed her thu hands Caring hands Strong hands that had pulled her froer Hands that had touched her skin and set her on fire She lifted his hand and pressed his palm to her lips

“I’ve never really had what you’d call a stable hoot turned upside down My ot custody ofaround I didn’tI blended in I missed my father so much, but Mom didn’t want to hear it She just wanted to have fun and a kid didn’t really fit the i away once and social services putry that I’d drawn any attention to us”

“I’et—”

She smiled sadly “Bear with me”

He squeezed her hand “Okay”

“My mom was killed in an accident when I was fifteen She was driving drunk and hit a tree, and as ht I hated her, she was still randh school, stayed close to her for college, but then she died, too And I was all alone Then I found out that there was this whole family out there that I never had the chance to know I felt like less, because she’d kept so much hidden I never really knew her, you know? Every person I’d cared about, the people I’d trusted to be there for one”

“Abs,” Tom said, softer now, and he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close

“That was the lowest I’d ever been, losing her,” she confessed “Gram had always told us that her parents died when she was a baby and she had been raised by her grandparents They were in their seventies and died right before she got pregnant with my dad And that was that”

She leaned back, away fro you, all of it, it’s just been so confusing I’ve never really had a home before I’m not sure I’d even knohat to do with one”

She sed, looked out the“Everyone I’ve ever cared about has disappeared,” she murmured “It hurts so much If I stay here, if I start to care about this place … about the people … Today, I wasn’t avoiding you I was just trying to get some clarity”

CHAPTER 20