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“Because keeping my head buried in the sand is still the easier choice Because I’ve pushed too much with how many of my stupid actions and choices he’s accepted from me Becausebecause I’m always scared he’ll think less of me That he’ll wake up one day and realize I’m not worth the effort”

My heart raced Nervous flutters erupted out of nowhere I looked down at the ring and started twisting it around on hts could tumble too far down the dark path

Dr Carr placed her notebook and pen on the side table then e of her chair “Calida, how long did Malcolm pursue this relationship with you?”

I shrugged “I guess he’s wanted it fros in the sixwith us”

“So, he spent the last two years proving hi you could tell him that would make him walk away?”

I returned my attention to the atch the cars and people below “Dorian made me doubt myself Paul, he capitalized on that and stripped away any self-respect I’d had Then Seth caan to find ht How I felt All of it depended on hiot into my head Into my soul Till ere so intertwined that I questionedthings, but then he’d be the one to coain And I’d let him”

I paused and took a shaky breath “Long before the tattoo Long before Seth revealed his true self, part of ave a bitter laugh as I thought back to the night with that stripper and the threesome he’d manipulated me into “I walked away, but I couldn’t even stick to my own hard limits”

I turned back to see Dr Carr watchingattention to what I said instead of actively analyzing it as I said it Taking slow steps, I returned to my chair

“Malcolm sees me as a victi the relationship with Seth I know I’ to sound like a contradiction, but while I don’t want Malcolm to view me like that, like a victim, at the same timeat the same time I don’t want him to know the depths of my stupidity”

Dr Carr started to speak, then stopped She gave ain “Calida, does Malcolm tell you he loves you?”

I nodded

“Do you believe him when he says it?”

I nodded again “I’ to”

“Do you think his love comes with conditions?”

I shook my head “No”