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A simple question, but one that hit me hard A lump for to hold back the tears that burned in my eyes I nodded Malcolm pulledMy head rested against his firtime

Safe

My fingers played with the curly hairs on his chest as I worked up the courage to open up to him “II don’t kno I feel about what happened I haven’t had tis, Mal I’ht caret it at the same time I don’t really kno else to explain it I told you, I’m a mess”

I stopped talking The more I did, the more I stuckyears keeping things inside, I now found it hard to change that behavior

Malcolhtened around me He kissed the top of er”

Chapter 34

Calida

Walking intohter bubbled out of s I would have never pegged hied

hihter stopped

Shawn squiret down The distraction welcomed

“Sorry, buddy Baby jail for you, so mommy can take a shower”

A shower and e in such a short ti inShawn settled with a cup of juice and secured in his playpen, I headed for the bathroom

Last week—hell the last two years—the idea of sex was soht used tosomeone else see my body, let alone take pleasure from it, was a road I’d prepared to avoid at all cost

Yet, last night I not only took that road, I sat in the driver’s seat While I waited for the shower to heat up, I looked attime I really studied myself I looked older The exhaustion I always felt was clearly shown in er than I thought Was I really that good of an actress that I hid this from everyone? I doubted it

Slowly, I pulledhow good it felt to have Malcolm’s hands on me For years, I’d fantasized about what it would be like to be with Mal In those dreaical encounter; perfect in every way Last night was far from perfect