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My heart rate increased My hands tightened around the cold bottle in an atte could be done about ; it had a mind of its own

I needed to move around

I needed to field off the feeling of being caged in, like when I ith Dr Carr and she started down a path I didn’t want to go I headed into the kitchen, and sat ainst it for support

I didn’t hear hiet off the couch, but I watched as one of Malcolhtly to the side of my head

“I don’t want to upset you, and I sure as hell don’t want to send you into another attack Seeing you break down like thatyou have a real knack for shaving years off my life”

I leaned hten the mood just a little

“I love you, Ginger I do, with every

fiber ofon to the past, hie security blanket Everything you’ve done, or better yet, not done these last two years have proven that”

I wanted to protest, to tell hi, but I couldn’t I didn’t want to I was tired Tired of pretending I was so I wasn’t Silent tears flowed freely Malcolm’s other hand came up to caress my face and wipe them away

“I don’t knohy you won’t let go, and I’ on, that you continue to live in the past, for whatever reason, pisses ry about the situation doesn’t do anything You won’t let me in I’m here for you I love you, but none of that aveaway He walked around the island, putting an actual barrier between us Fitting really when I thought about it, I’d had an invisible one between us since day one

I slid ranite The emotions I expected to feel—happiness, relief—were absent fros I had “I want to”

“What?”

“I wantI have let you in”

“No, you haven’t I thought you had, but you haven’t It’s all been a lie Just like you telling ht about…” He paused

The struggle to keep his emotions in check radiated off hi The sadness in his eyes All clear signs of the dae I’d caused