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Natasha

By the time I make it back to our sleeper, Suze has already packed and rearranged the small space back to hohen I first saw it yesterday

Like I never set foot in it

She always does this when she’s upset

Cleans and straightens everything up Makes things anew to the point you’d never knoas there beforehand

Her way of dealing with euess

I wish I could have the energy to tidy up like she can, but seeing her and the compartment fills me with dread

She’s taking all this harder than I thought she would

She’s packed and ready to leave even though we have hours before we reach home

The things I had on board are neatly stacked by the door The bulk of e

I don’tup the cardboard trays of wrapped food and fresh coffee

“Not hungry,” she says quickly, avoiding ain

“I thought you wanted to drop all the bullshit,” I tell her, sitting down opposite her but leaving the door open

Her eyes dart from me to the door and then scoffs with scorn

“Oh, okay So now you’re gonna tell s should be? How I should feel, is that it?” she spits

I feel a stab of pain in my chest

Suze and I have our fights, our disagree like this

Everything about her mood and behavior seems so… final

Feeling suddenly drained, I twist my face and shake my head

“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” I ask her

Feeling like I’ the whole world the same question

Her eyes narrow on mine and she draws her knees up and clasps them with her hands in defiant silence

“It’s like you only see a s in my life up until now

Suzanna, my mom

My dad

Even myself

Iback from me

“Suze?” I ask her, co as close as I dare “It’sotherwise how can I—”