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I also saw Eleanor’s attempts to control it, whether it’s because she doesn’t kno to let Lillie express herself or because she sees that expression as a threat I don’t know

Ruby, by contrast, lets ets on her level and plays with her She talks to her, but she doesn’t force her to be an adult

It’s incredible how it affects ift

Walking aroundit a squeeze every ti the lake in my office

All three floors have them They’re lined up parallel to each other, with balconies on the second and third levels

Ruby’s right, it’s a beautiful home, and the layout works ith my family situation Each floor has privacy, like its own quarters… I never noticed it before

I haven’t noticed a lot of things

Gazing out at the cal the banks, I dis Ruby

Sure, it was ily out of the blue, but I’d been researching hiring a nanny for weeks I had planned to go through a service, but trusting ht person for the job

She’s a smart, independent woreat with Lillie It’s a stroke of luck I’m not sure a service would have provided

My mind drifts to the way she took Lillie’s invitation to play that Disney princess scene last night Ruby didn’t care who saw her She didn’t care if it was silly She only cared about getting to knowa friend

Seeing her that way did soh It found a crack in the wall I’d built around s I’d set aside and stirred the them into a new and unexpected emotion

I realized in that moment… I am different

Before, I didn’t believe I could evermy wife’s memory, no matter how many self-help books I read It didn’t matter if I was thirty, with uilty if I responded to the sight of a beautiful woman

Hell, I felt guilty for being attracted to Ruby