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And never look back

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Becca

They say yoga is like refreshht tank top and squeeze a pants I place the rubberroom, at my feet, and close my eyes Exercise has always helped me deal with the stress at work, and I just hope it will help me the same when it comes to matters of the heart Because there’s no other way to put it: right now, my heart is shattered

After tasting what real love and lust feels like, I truly don’t kno to move on with my life now Mason is onabout hiht, and I dreaht even as I was asleep It’s torture, plain and simple, and I have no idea on how to escape from the pain

I go down on theone deep breath I start slow, assuress toboth my mind and body to the limit As time passes and beads of sweat start to forears insidebehind my closed eyelids

Trying some of the hardest positions, I let my muscles work until they’re exhausted and, only when I can no longer move, do I lay down on the , the pounding of ainst lued totoup on trying to forget about Mason Forget about yoga, I need so more drastic

I go up to h the contact list My heart starts to race, and there’s a little voice in et a hold ofterribly stupid, but I just can’t helpcause for bad decisions, it seems

Rees alured that after our failed date and Mason’s intervention, that he would see the painting on the wall and siet about me Of course, I couldn’t be any , it seemed that when Mason entered the scene that Robert’s competitive streak flared up Now, alone and depressed after a failed yoga session, I’iven up

When his name pops up on the screen, I double tap it and take a deep breath as my thumb moves across the screen “Want to have lunch?” I write,over the SEND button Don’t do it, Becca, my rational mind seems to say, but I can’t stop e flies away from my cellphone and into his

I throwfor him to take a while to respond, but his answer is alo of the phone, it vibrates at once I pick it up, unlock it, and feelup as I see Robert’s response “Yes! We can have lunch at your place I’ll bring wine,” his text says Fully knowing that I shouldn’t be doing this, I text him back a simple “sure”

I went fro hi straight would be putting it , I look down at the clock onthat Robert will probably be here in a hour or so, I head straight for the bathroo into the shower, I step under the hot water and let it wash overall my anxiety to the back of my mind It doesn’t work, of course, but I have no idea on what else I should do I never really had to deal with heartbreak before and, now that I find h it, I’m at a complete loss Nobody ever told me that it was this hard

When I finally get out of the shower, I put on a , and then squeezedress The dress is a bit revealing, showing e than what I’ht A to happen between Robert and I? No, that whisper of rationality see it to happen, and I don’t want it to happen… But the pain in ht now and, as I step out of er sure of what I’ on auto-pilot, and I’ve set it to drive ht now, all I want is to crash and burn - self-loathing at its best, I guess

I sit down onWhen the clock strikes 12, there’s a knock at o up to hten the hem of my dress, and put on a fake s?

Stopping in front of the door, I take one deep breath as I reach for the handle I wait one long second before turning it and, when I do, I feelI can’t back down from this now