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His hands are dancing froain, but he also see his eyes to ive to be inside of his brain right now

Then he looks up, clearing his throat "I wanted to say soins, and ato say? "I've decided—" he pauses and I can alo to Europe for the summer"

Europe? For the entire su this? I don't respond and I work hard to stiflesips of the creaue Michael s his shoulders and wipes his mouth with his napkin, "That's nice Lance"

I can detect the disappoint more out of his father That much is clear But as quickly as that disappointment appears, he replaces it with an air of indifference He's trying not to let his father get to hiht to Heathrow airport next week"

I look over at Michael to see if he's going to say anything else Perhaps he'll ask Lance what his plans are? Why London, of all places? But no, he doesn't say another word It seee in any kind of conversation with his son Maybe he doesn't care at all why he's leaving Instead, he continues to take uninterested bites of his food, his eyes cast down on his plate I watch as a sets stuck on his bottom lip Maybe this is what Michael wanted I' I never anticipated this happening So instead, I silances in s that I'd let spill from my mouth, but not in front of my husband

Michael takes a few more bites of dinner and then excuses hiainst the hardwood floor Lance takes his cue and leaves as well I watch the I start to clear the table As I' dishes to the kitchen, Michael re-appears He is slipping his arms into a coat, and seems to be in a hurry

"Where are you going?" I ask

"Out Don't bother waiting up for me"

He says it with such finality that I don't bother asking anything else And just like that, he grabs his keys and walks out the front door

I decide I've had enough emotional ups

and downs for one evening, and I head upstairs to soak in a bath and then go to bed I walk intois a ritual that I enjoy, and I look around for the perfect accent I see it—a purple and white-swirled, lavender-scented bath bo—the perfect remedy to clearit spin and fizz until the water is frothy and the entire bathroo in a field of lavender flowers The wars my skin—I like my baths hot—the hotter the better, and I slowly sink my shoulders down further into the perfuhts die down and become hushed, and a sense of tranquility settles over my body like a faertips becoet out

I finish preparing for bed, and when I finally find ins to race again I shut my eyes and try to drown it out Go to sleep, I tellto will it to happen But it doesn't work I keep hearing Lance's words replaying in o to Europe for the suo to Europe? And why for the entire su to avoid s seemed sort of strained between them at dinner If so, why not just come out and tell me that's what he wants? Does he think I can't handle the truth? Ashim here makes me feel lonely I'll be physically and e to do without hioes back to that first day in the dressing room at Saks Fifth Avenue… and the day in the li, rock-hard body so close toabout it I also think about his icy blue eyes, and the way they can pierce through me in unexpected ways, and his roet just thinking about him

Then I hear footsteps cone, and judging by the way his feet fall in uneven moveing against the wall for upport He's trying to steady hiot hi to come into my roo for the couch in his study and he isn't going to say anything to me I hear him flop down in his upstairs study and within

What aht It's like I don't exist to Michael I' in the same house with a man who doesn't love me and who refuses to show ht's dinner And with Lance in the house, I crave affection even more I crave Lance His touch His body His ht now

I decide to do soht I'd do I quietly step out of bed I don't knohy I' so quiet Michael is passed out There's no way any aht But I continue to take light steps down the hall until I reach Lance's roo to detect any sounds, but there's nothing He must be asleep I slowly turn the knob and push the door open I see hiht from the hall illuminated the chiseled muscles of his chest He's asleep I walk in toward the bed, and then I lift the comforter and join him