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“Oh, I didn’t tell you who I was praying to,” says Lacey “Don’t get ahead of yourself”

The first time Owen and I had sex—and the second, third, or the hundredth, for that ht to myself: Is this it? Can that really be what all the romance novels are about? What caused the Peloponnesian War and the siege of Troy? This is why Ro and looking for her next conquest?

The easiest ansas to bla Owen had always see, I mean But he enjoyed sex the saravitas and decorum Not exactly the stuff to set anyone’s bed and panties ablaze

“It’s high tiet some satisfaction,” says Lacey

“Oh, what’s the occasion?” says the bartender, co over to watch the festivities The Maître D appears at his side just in time for me to remove the lid from the box

Inside is a vibrator which looks like it’s about the size of a Nerf football

“That’s what I’ it out of the box and pointing atTell her, boys!” She waves the vibrator at the two guys who are now receding into the background, vanquished by the suggestion that their anatomy is now superfluous to our conversation “This is what you need to be writing about Owen 20 right here You’re bored with all the local gigs? Take this bad boy for a spin and you’ll burn the dae down”

“Oh rab it away from her, stuff it back into the box, and put the lid on In e to knock the box off my lap When it hits the floor the vibrator spills out at the feet of an elderly couple who has just arrived

“Good for you, dear,” says the wo”

Lacey gives her a high five while I drop to my knees and quickly snatch up the colossal vibrator to hide Owen 20 back into his box

“But I have to warn you” says Lacey, “You’ve got to beware of its powers It’s not going to be a substitute for a real man forever But it’s more than a match for all these weenies ould rather flip a coin than give it to you the way you deserve”

The thought of coins ulp down another drink I don’t want to think about Owen at all Lacey’s definitely right about one thing, though: I’m bored withto escape the local beat for a while Maybe Owen 20 is just the ticket

As soon as Lacey leaves (the Maître D in tow), I go home with ht of…well, I guess I would just have to find out

After o ho noise—the contraption sounds like it’s about to take off from a launch pad—and as I dial it down to its lowest, least-inti like pleasure inonso inexperienced: I don’t have a wealth ofmen I have never been with into the scene The Maître D, for instance, or anyone from True Blood

Later that night, I have weird dreaue When I wake up, I feel extre over