Page 19 (1/2)

CHAPTER FIVE

Clare switched off her blow-dryer and ran her fingers through her clean hair, fluffing out the blunt-cut ends so that it framed her face in a thick bob She had showered and dusted herself with fragrant talc and put on her nightgown and warm, wine-red robe Now she intended to relax for the rest of the evening with a good book to ease the restless tension of her day

It was the fourth day of the Deverenkos' stay at Moonlight, and Clare had found it just as difficult as the previous three Tio to school was h Clare had been unprincipled enough to use the bribe of violin lessons with David as she packed hi in time to catch the school bus which picked hihway 86 Today it had been his regular lesson with Cheryl, and when Clare had taken the station wagon—the road was just passable by afternoon—into Rotorua for her 'jazzercise' session at the gym before she ferried Tim to and froone with Tiym with Clare and watched her join the fifteen or so other woretted her confidences of the second day, had thawed slightly as Clare, sweaty from her exertions, had come off the floor

'You y and sport was coh, I hated it!'

'I'm fit, but then I've always danced,' said Clare as they walked towards the changing-roo all the tie The i hours are pretty flexible, especially when our bookings are light, so I can come as often, or as little, as I want Most woh to keep in shape, especially when they've built up to the full hour session Maybe you'd like to try it some time'

Ta or anything With all our travelling there was never any time for stuff like that…except music lessons, of course'

And yet she said she didn't play an instrunored the tail-end of her remark 'You don't have to be an expert, the instructor de' She dimpled mischievously 'And you notice how I always stay at the back? That's so I can watch everyone else instead of the me' She often wondered whether she would have been able to make a career out of ballet even if it hadn't been physically precluded, given her shyness in front of people, but she hadn't been teroup of friendly woe No, this way Clare had the best of both worlds: she could lose herself in theattention to herself

'I don't have any of the gear, anyway,' said Tahts, the pink leg warmers and foreshortened T-shirt she wore

'All you need is the leotard and tights, and you can hire those froo next time, Tamara?'

She shrugged, as if afraid of expressing any eagerness 'I don't know Dadelse'

'What about what you want to do, Taet your father for once, and be responsible for your own enjoy your father can join in with It's sexist, you know, but it is a woroup'

'No, I suppose he couldn't, could he?' Ta able to do so over behind the ruffled brow Nagging her father for attention had backfired; perhaps shehim out! 'But I'm so scrawny' She looked down at herself with dislike 'I'll look horrible in those clinging things'

'Better than having rolls of fat bulging all over the place,' said Clare briskly 'We'll justcolour in horizontal stripes, the sort of thing which makes me look like an elephant'

Taht what a nice girl she could be when she forgot to shoulder her chip What she really needed were a few interests of her own For all her sophistication, in some ways Tamara was less mature than Tim She had told Clare that she had turned thirteen a few old locket on a chain that her father had given her, and talked about the party that Deverenko had arranged for her, long distance, since he was in Japan at the time

Four days ago Clare hter on her special day, but having seen the every bit as difficult a tihter, but her prickliness and her unpredictable ether while Ti out her intrusive awareness of the new presence at Moonlight in her work, and yet still Tamara wanted more That made Deverenko impatient with her, which in turn made Taht To fully satisfy Taive up his career, sacrifice his love of creating great hter, and if be did that he would not be Deverenko any more That he realised it was obvious in the dark concern hich be watched his daughter when she was being particularly morose That Taht she would probably be horrified at the very idea, and yet that hat she wanted, to be first in her father's life— before his irl if she continued the self-destructive round of confrontation and selfish de the slow alienation Clare's heart ached for both of them