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We fought thisbecause I finally found the credit card bill stuffed under the couch cushion Not only was it over the lies and found the charges for things like food, oods I had wondered how the house spruced itself up Turns outand an even better one for sales My sto hoe’ll pay this month’s bill I know she doesn’t have a job yet

This new financial burden put a da to buy her so she could have ured a car would open up her options for jobs off the base, if that’s what she wants, or the ability to attend classes at the local college I’d asked her to hold off because the busses don’t run late for evening classes I worried about her traveling back and forth on her bicycle after dark Maybe I’m crazy to think that, but my job forces me to see harsher realities of life

I’d be kidding ht this transition was easy for either of us She fakes it well The only thing she can’t fake is the sex, and both of us are in a rut lately

“Hey, cheer up” My CO nudges my shoulder “You’ll be happy to know your request for this weekend was approved and your sign-on bonus cah”

I perk up at that knowledge Thattoward her car

Sunday is my wife’s birthday

I get on the phone and call Rhonda She’s been a godsend since we came on base, and the only person I knoho can help me coordinate a surprise party for my wife on short notice

I have the idea to get a cake FedExed from her favorite bakery back hoet her parents to coive us sos out, sairlfriends Kate and Hope can come down I practically run myself in circles until Rhonda calms me down She tells me that there are a few WAGs ill coreat I don’t kno I’ll keep the secret until this weekend

“Bea, I’ out of my shoes She doesn’t like the ood thing I left all the party supplies I picked up in the car; I ht be able to sneak them inside and into the hall closet I know she isn’t with Rhonda because I just spoke to her about the party plans There’s a stillness in the air I don’t expect The whole house is eerily quiet

“Honeybee, baby, where are you?” I pace into the bedroo looks neat as a pin I turn around and walk to the kitchen Not a da is out of place, and a chill runs upanywhere? No Her bike was still here The bed wasroom looks freshly vacuumed and the dishes are clean, stacked neatly by the sink

I scout the house again

A note catches er under the crisp, white paper I pull out the letter inside and find my own Dear John

The words are hard to read between blurred vision of ery she kept this from me, like a secret between us I’h to see her unhappiness I' she needed more from me as her husband

Henry –

This letter is hard to write We both kno difficult this has been fros are I don’t knohat I want out of life, but being alone and unable to feel independent isn’t what I thought I was signing up for You knohere to find me