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“ ‘Love?’ I asked ‘There was love between you and the vampire who made you?’ I leaned forward
“ ‘Yes,’ he said ‘A love so strong he couldn’t allow row old and die A love that waited patiently until I was strong enough to be born to darkness Do you mean to tell me there was no bond of love between you and the vampire who made you?’
“ ‘None,’ I said quickly I couldn’t repress a bitter smile
“He studied ive you these powers?’ he asked
“I sat back ‘You see these powers as a gift!’ I said ‘Of course you do Forgive me, but it amazes me, how in your cohed
“ ‘Should I be insulted?” he smiled And his whole manner only confirmed me in what I’d just said He see to understand him
“ ‘No, not byas I looked at hi I dreaift!’ I repeated it ‘But tell ave you eternal life? Do you feel this now?’
“He appeared to be thinking, and then he said slowly, ‘Why does this matter?’ But went on: ‘I don’t think I’ve been fortunate in feeling love for s But yes, I love him Perhaps I do not love him as you mean It seems you confuse me, rather effortlessly You are a mystery I do not need him, this vampire, anymore’
“ ‘I was gifted with eternal life, with heightened perception, and with the need to kill,’ I quickly explained, ‘because the vampire who made me wanted the house I owned and ?’ I asked ‘Ah, but there is so much else behind what I say It makes itself known to me so slowly, so incompletely! You see, it’s as if you’ve cracked a door forto get to it, to push it back, to enter the region you say exists beyond it! When, in fact, I don’t believe it! The va that I truly believed evil to be: he was as dismal, as literal, as barren, as inevitably eternally disappointing as I believed evil had to be! I know that now But you, you are so totally beyond that conception! Open the door for me, push it back all the way Tell me about this palace in Venice, this love affair wi
th damnation I want to understand it’
“ ‘You trick yourself The palaceto you,’ he said ‘The doorway you see leads toto live with uilt’
“ ‘Yes, exactly,’ I murmured
“ ‘And this makes you unhappy,’ he said ‘You, who came to me in my cell and said there was only one sin left, the willful taking of an innocent human life’
“ ‘Yes…’ I said ‘How youat me…’
“ ‘I never laughed at you,’ he said ‘I cannot afford to laugh at you It is through you that I can save myself from the despair which I’ve described to you as our death It is through you that I must make my link with this nineteenth century and come to understand it in a way that will revitalize me, which I so desperately need It is for you that I’ve been waiting at the Theatre des Vampires If I knew a mortal of that sensitivity, that pain, that focus, I would make him a vampire in an instant But such can rarely be done No, I’ve had to wait and watch for you And now I’ll fight for you Do you see how ruthless I am in love? Is this what you meant by love?’