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I stop brushing

Surely that’s not the answer It would be far too ridiculous a solution If I ed to drink blood, surely I’ll throw it up just like I’ up solid food I’ froic, pleasure, and healing, to being on a blood-only diet It’s not going to happen

I duck out of the bathrooain I think she feels trapped in the hotel roo the walls at this point Or I would be if I had any energy at all

This is adisaster

I study the bed for a long moment I still haven’t entirely dealt with the fact that apparently I met Wolf in my dreams I don’t knohat caused it, or what shoved him out of that space, but if I can reclaim it…

Imuch I ache with it I wish I could bla, but I suspect it’s sione and fallen for this vampire trio I desperately want Malachi to wraparms and say it will all be okay For Rylan to , snarky cohter and chaos

If I can find them in my dreams…

I run my hand over the scratchy bedspread I’ this tiic as best I can

Instead, I take a slow, careful breath, and lay down on the bed on my back It’s too easy to close my eyes I’ve been sick and beaten to the point where I’m not sure I’ll survive, and I’ve never felt tired like this It would scarebut exhaustion

Maybe it’s the baby, but maybe that’s not it at all Maybe it’s the seraph bond responding to too many days and toosimilarly…

Sleep sucks ht

I open my eyes with a start Disappointment sours my stomach—or maybe that’s just the baby—when I see the hotel rooone from the s, replaced by the faded rays of the streetlamp outside

Grace still isn’t back yet, and if she was anyone else, I ht be worried, but she can take care of herself I sa many weapons she packed away before she left The wo armory, and she kno to use them She’ll be fine

I sit up and rub my hands over my face Maybe the dream with Wolf was a fluke Maybe there are a dozen conditions that need be met before I can meet like that with any of the vah I’ to feel my way I don’t even have Malachi’s support atit

“What the fuck aer to my feet and cross to the desk of Grace’s weapons There are half a dozen knives in varying shapes and sizes, and I choose a small one that fits easily in my palm “I am not helpless”

I’htthe silence tick out There are toohat I’ht out of it So I don’t I act instead

I slice a thin line on my forearm and hold it out away fro hurts these days, it’s barely noticeable I turn in a slow circle, leaving droplets of blood behindthe way I started

My own blood s in the extreets worse when I close htin wait It feels different than it did the last tiuess why

“Come on, you fucker” I reach for the poith h ain, with the sa

I open ly, orI don’t knohat’s real anymore Certainly not this nebulous power inside me I can’t even access it without the men present How pathetic “Da “Azazel! Azazel! Azazel!”