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"I'm sorry"

"It was lass "We all ht that hat ht I was supposed to be a provider, I did, but it wasto my father, to myself, to the entire world"

"Did you?"

"Yes There was a sweetness to that victory I won't claie it had caused, when I realized what I'd given up, the years I'd missed of my son's childhood… it was bittersweet"

"Would you do it differently now?" I ask

"Of course But that's easy for me to say now"

"It is" Would I do anything differently? I' John for too long Atte depressive phases and failing to claay out of them

Sometimes, I couldn't help it Sometimes, I didn't have tools But, sometimes, I did Soood days I could do it—

"We all eneric, but it's true

"Shall we put that on our kitchen poster?"

"You remember?"

He nods

"No, it needs to be a little more Pollyannaish"

"We all make mistakes That's why pencils have erasers"

"Perfect" I laugh "You're good at this"

He raises his glass

I raise mine Sip S Savor

"Your father, he wasn't faithful to your mother?"

Fuck We're back to that already "He wasn't"

"And you worry the sa will happen with Liam"

"Not exactly"

"Then what?"

"I see these flashes of the woht and bold She was an artist A painter She crafted these gorgeous floral close-ups Very Georgia O'Keeffe She had write-ups in local papers A scholarship at a prestigious school Then she got pregnant with me and she married my father and she just stopped"

"She doesn't paint anymore?"

"No She's there sometimes Present, sometimes, as a mother I still remember this summer she went to every swim meet Took us to the beach nearly every weekend She had this fabulous one-piece swiht pink And the way she wore thehs were thick and her arms were soft And that's hard in California"

"Here too, I iine"

"It's different here A different standard I guess it's hard everywhere But easier, now, in so Woorgeous, and she has curves in all the right places, but she has cellulite and stretch marks too and… I've lost you, haven't I?"

"A little," he admits

"Sorry I get caught up in ideas I forget I' to someone on my side Or that there aren't sides I just—"

"Don't apologize for your passion, Briar Pro that"

I'm compelled to answer honestly "You really want me to promise?"

"Of course"