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Suddenly Brad couldn’t quite meet my eyes “Honestly, I was a bit selfish about it I was seues I knew if she ations about me, they’d be splashed all over the newspapers with ame in my life”

“But you never played anyway,” I said, then realised what I was revealing “I, uh, did a bit of research once I knew your naraphies I’ve read said you just vanished, almost without a trace”

“It weighs on you,” Brad said “Even if it’s a totally ht if you needed to Even if you know you’re doing everything she asked, not even trying to call to check how the kids are, even if your own parents have gone cold on you because you won’t let the everything right… but once so you can do to save a career like that It’s gone, Tao of it eventually What could have been is just too fucking heavy a burden”

“That’s not fair,” I protested “If you didn’t do it, and she never really believed you did it…”

“Nobody ever claiut: the first fatherly advice I could reSue wasn’t going to deliberately corubby journalist finding out about Jess and her ether any more That I hadn’t seen my kids in months… eventually, years I’d at least look like a deadbeat And if she did decide she wanted my head as well, I’d either be ruined in a way that would hurt my new fa you and Ryan in the process”

I felt like I needed to catchfrom an absolute certainty my father was an abuser Muht have changed—to this completely crazy idea that he’d never hit anyone at all? That my mum was a liar?

The thing was, I already knew Mus to, in her mind, protect me She had her own issues, I’d always known that I’d always accepted it maybe more than I should, because she was the only parent I had around The only family I had, other than Ryan Now here was Brad—my dad—with a possible sister for s were the way they were

“You have to understand, I can’t just believe this without thinking about it so some time over it”

“Of course, of course” Brad was grinning in a way that sees down on hially an adult and can make your own decisions I wanted to reach out to Ryan too But it just see, you know? Like I would have had to get either of you to even hearfit that rattled the table and made me jump in my chair I knew exactly what he’d been about to say, too

If it had really happened how he said, could I blame him?

“Did you ever do anything violent towards any of us?” I asked “Soht have made her think you were capable of…”

Brad spread his ar bloke, I can’t hide it I did shout at your ot a temper someti to”

But he’d calmed down quickly after his initial burst of temper We were in public, of course… but it didn’t look to otten out of control He didn’t seeh to hit a small kid It was like with Steven—not that I wanted to be thinking about Steven right now

I didn’t feel anything in his presence, either Like, there wasn’t soerous Maybe I was being an idiot, but that meant a lot to me

Brad cleared his throat “Like I was saying before, itmuch that you reached out toto come back into your lives I couldn’t just push h, because I never thought it would happen Takes a really brave, s…”