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The Lord Strauss closed his eyes He saw hiain, of only twelve or thirteen years He and his sister, standing atop the staircase at the A pathway, its steps hewn of lossiest polished oak The sun rained through the ceiling-highat the stairwell landing, but in ed Candles burned away their last froht awake, inof being away from there

“Hush norence,”rail, sun reflecting in the grain of the wood he heard the shouts; ret He closed his eyes, crying; his sister tried again to still the feeling, but it welled up until he couldn’t contain it any longer, the tears gushing along his cheeks

“I cannot handle this anymore!” Lawrence’s memory recalled the pained and shrill call of hisanxiety as she rushed into the foyer, her black and lacy dress swinging and swaying wildly beneath the vigor of her erand door “I will not endure another night of you, spending your life in the stupor of drink, or the grasp of another woman”

Another woman That had always stuck with Lawrence He had non this side of his father in his youngest days - or perhaps in the ignorance of youth he wished sinore the through the slats on the banister, the illusion of a father of entleman in service to the fa, e, raw revelation His father stor a disheveled black suit with a silken shirt, the acrid burn of cheap brandyboy winced, watching the man he had had so he didn’t recognize

“I’ve taken your hand in e, and you’ll do what’s best for that,” his father had said Marriage The ould forever bear with it a sickening medicine for Lawrence; from that day, he would see it as torment The tor red upon her cheeks, glazed with a heartbroken rage

“You’re not theher hand upon the brass handle to the manor’s doors With trepidation, he watched his father stride to ht to pull the door open Lawrence shook atop the stairs; he felt his sister’s co touch upon his head, but it did little to still the river of hurt roiling in the boy’s chest He watched his rip on her wrist; a shly between the two most i no child should have to see His cheeks burning with the flalazed, Lawrence felt his body shake wh

en he saw his father raise his hand and, in a wide and arcing swing, slap hard across histo her knees A little yelp rose frouish He would hear that sound in his nightmares for the rest of his life His sister quickly lifted her pal hishad been, she could not stop hiotten the precise words, and re possessed; a beast bearing within it a wicked soul, one Lawrence had never recognized or known For all of his short life his father had been so different; an actor, perhaps

That day Lawrence saw the reality of love - of e Of the life he feared hi palm-print on his mother’s face He saw in her tears the pain of every woman in all the world, as they suffered beneath the burden of expectation and ofboy swore he would never look upon that face again As time passed he came to the realization that he bore the same blood as his father - the sarew to inherit over his sister, in spite of his desires, he realized that fate weaves itself strict and ironclad before even the most well-intentioned mind could hope to break it And no e - he would wind up just like his father Awash in the glow of brandy and hate, he would see that face again

Lawrence’s eyes flashed open again Noatop a stairwell; he heard the door of the grand foyer slam shut, and behind him stood a woman he had claimed physically; a wo desire since the ether A woman he desired, but a wo that same face

“I shall need to bathe and clear e my clothes, m’lord,” Anne said; she had ht outlook on their future, in spite of what he knew had been a harsh demeanor on their ride back to the manse Their embrace had not been pleasurable for him, for when he held her in his arms, he saw that expression burned into her face - the sa reddened cheeks He could never trust himself not to fall into the brandy the way his father had And he had for so long feared the rakish life of awoer served him, that he had instead forbidden himself from all but the most socially acceptable of touches; of courtships

And yet noos he had never understood; never confronted And his blood burned for fear - and it was truly his father’s blood Anne caain, her smile warm, and embraced him; not full of tears, this time, a circumstance for which the duke was quite thankful Whether her face contained joy or fear or sadness, he could not bear to see it burning, eyes red, full of tears He had heard his father’s unearthly screaainst his chest - and he tried as best he could to quell that unholy rage, consuentle hug, though he wished to hold her close and tight forever

“Shall I see you when I return from the bath, then?” Anne chirped, full of hope He could not bear the thought of lying to her, particularly after the intimate moment they had shared, but he could do little else She would thank him in the end

“O… of course,” he answered She looked, bright-eyed; happy Content with that answer Another squeezed shared between theh she spared no gaze back over her shoulder in delight at him

His shoulders fell as she disappeared beyond his sight With duty heavy upon him, he resolved to do what he had pro Arranging for the freedoht she had found in him He knew he could not love her - not as a woman with so vibrant a soul deserved, without that specter of trust haunting hirave

“M’lord,” Lawrence announced as he pushed open the doors to the dining chaplatters it had borne just a few hours earlier, he saw thepatiently - the viscount, hat rerin worn proudly in anticipation at the far end of the table