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“I’e of desperation “I just love you so fucking much, River More than anyone I’ve ever been with I’ve never felt this way about any of the scared of losing you And that night… it was like watching htmare come to life I freaked I treated you horribly I fucked everything up, and I’ sorry for that” His voice cracks at the end of his sentence, right along with my resolve

My shoulders deflate Why does it hurt so bad hearing hirit my hair and pull, so frustrated with the effect Ryan has onto pull ht there to pullfighting hio back to where ere before I went to Shallow Hill We were so fucking happy, and god, do I want that back again

“River, can we just… can you please come home so we can talk?”

I feelto slip He hit s to un to his head, the crazed glea, too Andsorry I’ve never actually left hie

“Please?” he begs when I still don’t answer “I just want to talk to you See you how you’re doing and if you’re okay I promise we’ll just talk I won’t even touch you if you don’t want me to”

I sigh We do have a lot to talk about I’ve put more effort into this relationship than I ever had with anyone else All the other men I’ve entertained were just that—entertains Ryan makes me feel

It’s pretty clear Ryan has issues, but maybe if he opens up toer, we can fix this That’s what I’ve learned in ers hi how to handle it in a healthy way

Aside fros are the

re I’ve been wearing Mako’s oversized clothes for the past week, and I’ve caught hiht I wasn’t looking They sent a thrill straight through usted me all at once

“Coo ere so happy The way I h How hard I made you come—"

“Fine,” I interrupt, already feelingto those ether have been absolute bliss “I’ll come home But if I start to feel scared in any way, I’ll have the police on speed dial”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realize that’s a sentence I should never have to say to h Look at where I cah to try to help hiht those demons

He sighs in a relief, and I can feel his s” That word again Baby It feels different co out of Ryan’s mouth Like fa Like touching a livewire I think I’ve had enough thrills to last me a lifetime, now’s the time where I settle down and relish in comfort

I hang up the phone and immediately open up my Uber app Mako’s at work so I don’t have to worry about sneaking out

I dress back into s I had here in a grocery bag and a into the back of the Uber within fifteen minutes