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I couldn’t speak Couldn’t breathe

Cristian yanked at

“I’ in ed to Cristian now I belonged to Cristian now

Then he resu hard Fast Un-fucking-yielding

The rug burned against ripped the fibers like they were the only thing keeping me tethered to the world

But it was Cristian

He was the one keeping me shackled to this world

Last night left me confused

Very fucking confused

Cristian had forced me to relive memories that I’d revised, history that I’d altered He’d done that by fucking me so hard and so sordidly, I’d felt dirty Defiled And I’d fucking loved it Cristian toreto fit into, controlled every inch of me, saw every inch of me I’d never felt freer in ed Like I fit With him

Yet I also hated hi me deal with yesterday inwith it at all

Mostly I hated hi h I may have been conventionally beautiful on the outside, rueso ain

Though with the cold light of day, my outsides looked pretty darn bad too Lorenzo had not held back when he’d punched ht

Almost half of my face was various shades of purple Even the most heavy-duty of makeup couldn’t cover it up Beyond that, I was too shaken to go to work I would be the talk of the office noith two sick days in a row I already had fourteenhelp on cases, associates who couldn’t find the fucking photo copier withoutlike it

I’d gone to work the day after I had ht before , I still arrived before everyone else and left after them I went directly fro, considering only three people attended the funeral, ood people My mother ell liked, had friends all over the country Transient friends who couldn’t be contacted or couldn’t afford to fly to New York for the service

There was not a reason that could be invented or an illness that could be caught that kept me from work