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Pete’s presence was a rush of reality Of resentment I was suddenly infuriated that he existed That I’d invited him into my life, committed myself to him

He didn’t even look up froood I was afraid he’d see the guilt I wore That he’d see soed about me That the dark and twisted parts of me raised just underneath my skin were impossible to miss

But I was expecting far too much of Pete To see what I’d done, he’d have to really see me He never really had, and that had never been ht now

“Hey, babe,” he said distractedly

“Hi,” I said, forcing my voice to sound as normal as I could

What was nor desperately to reht

I placedat theon the ithout a coaster

I gritted my teeth Noas really not the time to co a ring on our reclaier fuck ht

I walked farther into our apart that I’d worked very hard and spent a lot ofthat I hadn’t had my entire childhood What washed over you when you walked into a place that was yours A home

Our space was large Large enough for us to have a full sized, white sectional in our open plan living rooed the cushions on everyto fold the expensive ht before The s gleaiously and because I needed natural light That’s what sold the apart countertops—well, usually glea nook where I sat withcoffee My bookshelves were color coded, filled withabout ned to separate ht ht the apartment

It was my salary that paid most of the bills since he had invested a lot of his trust fund into soey about the details, superstitious, but he told , and we’d htly whenever he said this