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I pulled the drawstrings of hts, pine wreaths, and garland decorating the surrounding homes when it dawned on me—my parents hadn’t put up any decorations this year We hadn’t even gotten our Christmas tree up yet, and while Christmas was still three weeks ae usually put it up after Thanksgiving What did that even s?

I glanced to hter and watched as a fahters—piled out of a car and headed into a light-trimmed house A stab of envy sunk inside my bones I wanted desperately to be a part of a real faether and then returning ho but joy and contentedness, but instead, I foundto be perfect, to find soether And look where that gotto the surface, threating to spill out of me in one cataclysmic eruption, and today they finally had When that ball hit h, I snapped

I embarrassed myself in front of the class

I alot suspended

I was unraveling And I knew it

I couldn’t keep up the pretense er, but I had to try For them For us For myself, at least until I left for school in the fall If I left for school in the fall I still hadn’t gotten any early acceptance letters yet I checked the mail before I left the house—twice just to be sure

With the way things had been going lately, it would be es I applied to and be forced to stay right there in Sweet Water The only bright side to that terrifying scenario would be an extra year with Ethan He wasaway to school was leaving him behind Because he was a Sweet Water lifer He’d never leave

The Brooks’ house cae, sunny yellow exterior, their huge white wraparound porch, and the wind chimes that seearage was a giant, brightly painted sign with a grand sailboat created by a local artist It read, “Welcome to Port,” and that’s exactly how I felt as I approached—home, at bay

I started to veer into their drivehen a sleek black car I recognized as Olivia’s slowed next t

o me and came to a stop When Olivia poked her head out of the , she smiled “Hey, Mia”

“Uh, hi,” I said

I was reasonably popular but tended to float between groups, never associating myself with any one clique Instead, I socialized with a sh, which meant I wasn’t unfriendly with Olivia, but she wasn’t exactly one of my favorite people either She and Tasha tended to look down on a lot of people, and their favorite pasti from boy to boy No one was off li du how Olivia had conveniently been there for him in his time of need A day later, they were an item Olivia and Tasha were always nice to my face, but I alondered what they said about me behind closed doors I suspected it was as cruel as what they said about everyone else

“So, that was pretty crazy today in gye expert, but so told me she had an ulterior motive for this bit of small talk

“Yeah” I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest

“I mean, if I were you, I’d be totally mortified The way you went after Carson like that” She widened her eyes “And your face I mean, yikes”