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“I’ in the way anymore”

“It’s not just you”

Grant’s lips thinned into line “Right, Colm”

“And if I’ back intoto help ets back”

“Good luck” Grant waved and walked off down the street

Cli the second I stepped inside The place was quiet I peered through Marisa’s cracked bedroom door She’d passed out in her bed surrounded by flash cards Her desk light flickered, so I unplugged it Small char marks were burned on the outlet That was the third ti Col a e to the landlord about all the stuff that was always on the fritz, I tiptoed to my room

I changed into my pajamas, and whileup the spread

sheet of med schools Colm had sent ers hovered over the keys Before I could second guess myself, I deleted every choice listed A blank slate My stos and I filled out the sheet again

Another seven (or more) years of school I could do it How many people would kill to be in the position I was in? I had the chance to becorades I’d worked my ass off and sacrificed every sparemyself in the books

It doesn’t make you happy Well, happiness is overrated

Happiness had gotten me into this mess After what had happened to my parents, you’d think I’d have learned happiness was an illusion I’d been so happy for a spare ten minutes to actually speak with my parents I’d been happy for one kiss froht in his bed Maybe that was all I got, little gli

Saving lives could make me happy It was i so could I really make it as a dance instructor, anyway? Whichrun? What was more stable and sensible? Of course it was ht now, but in ti hours in the hospital would be h to keep me company Go in for a thirty-six-hour shift, help people, pass out as soon as I got home, rinse and repeat

It was ti from the future that had been laid out in front of me I needed to prove to myself, my parents, and Colm that I could do this Happiness could come later, and I just had to hope when Ford found soe I did, I could s that suffocating pain of seeing his hands on someone else, plaster on a smile, and be happy for him

29

Ford