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I let out a watery laugh

He squeezed his eyes shut and tuggedhis face in my stomach, he held on to me I wrappedmy throat

“It doesn’t have to end like this” His fingers tightened aroundthis moment was all I could do His s to each other

“What other way can it end? Are we supposed to show up to Sylvia’s together? What would she think of h the relationship of her sons, the ones she loved so much How could she not hate me?

“My mom could never hate you, Liv” It was like he’d read my mind

“Maybe not, but she’d blame me, just like I blame me”

“This wasn’t just you It’s not like you flung yourself at ht here with you” He stared into my eyes

I brushed back the hair froht” I buriedhim close

Kissing the top of his head, I let hi his head up, I pressed ht more tears to my eyes

Breaking away froe of the bed and ran out of the apartment I took the stairs and shot out onto the street Even in the open air, I could barely breathe I ordered a car and prayed Ford didn’t coh

Cli into the back of the car, I didn’t try to stop the tears falling froainst the war to stop the sadness and guilt raging a war inside my chest It wasn’t only for the way his heart had , but also to otten back There was no going back there In the blink of an eye I’d lost the man I loved and the friend I’d been able to count on for most my life

I blew lanced back at ive ain

27

Ford

“Next ga you,” Coach shouted at me when I climbed into the box at the end of the period We’d won—barely They ht as well have had a cardboard cutout zip-tied inside the goal for all the good I was doing