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After a few steps up the stairs, the tension ebbed away a little until I heard the soft sound that had keptand crying that had become a hallmark of my life over the past five years Graduation couldn’t come sooner

“Mo the stairs to my room, I stopped by their door My feet sank into the thick carpet and didn’t h their closed bedrooh they tried to keep their words low I don’t know if they heard ht like this Especially at the end of the month

“Money…collections…college” The pit was back in et out Stanford was a long ay from here, but I needed it

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Shaet to lead The proone to only after Avery practically threatened o Acceptance letters fro I could to live his dream for him I’d lived He hadn’t I owed that to him

I took a few steps backward and hurried intomy door as quietly as I could Maybe they wouldn’t knoas here Flinging my backpack on the floor, I flopped onto the bed and let out a shaky breath

I needed some space

I needed to throwelse

I needed to forget for a little bit

Glancing over at htstand, I felt the heaviness slam into my chest like I’d been kicked A picture I’d seen a thousand tione down to the Jersey Shore like we did every year Up until just after that picture was taken

After that, nothing was ever the saain The beeps of machines and an industrial antiseptic were the last reminders I had of him That and my failure The old phantom pain in my hips, the kind that had madeht into a ball, I tried to breathe

The walls were closing in, and I resisted the urge to stand in the s, let some of the pressure out before I lost it Instead, I took a few deep breaths to keep the shaking under control and closedhad been perfect After a few ed down under the pressure of the past, just treading water I’d been treading for years Getting ed

Picking up the note cards and books I’d need, I slung ain and crept back downstairs At least outside I didn’t feel like the weight of everything was crashing down onsurf It was stupid to go home at this tile time

Things were always okay for the first feeeks, and then the bills kept co but the money stopped Dad had been in and out of work since then He’d ain It would be a day like Daniel’s birthday or the anniversary of soain My grandfather had written it into his will that we couldn’t sell the house At least he’d put in provisions to pay the taxes, or we’d have been screwed a long tio

I hopped into my car and drove to the bookstore slash cafe, H&T’s Teas, on Park Ave Parking in the back, I checked the ti inside The delicious smell of coffee and pastries smacked led, and a few people behind the counter looked up, waving at me