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It was all I needed to hear, the choice washer into the passenger seat before getting into the driver’s side

My heart was beating out of , anything to stop me, tell me he loved me and didn’t mean it That he’d be here for me like he had been since the first time we’d talked

He didn’t

Not one word

No I love you

I’m sorry

Nothing

Silence

With sorrow in his gaze, he watched as I buckled myself into the driver’s seat and never broke eye contact with me For the first tiht possible when it came to him I could still feel his love, but I could also feel his hate

I se just looked at each other for seconds, hts, our own demons

Mine was my mother

His … was me

He ht have been my savior, but I was definitely his demise

Slowly, I found the courage to start the car, thinking this was the et in to help me drive her home like he’d done so many times I lost count at this point

Again, he didn’t

He si, his soul aching I was taking hiht there with me

With tears strea down my face, I looked into his eyes one last ti my heart with him…

Knowing I’d never get it back

By the tihway, the consequences of his words started to take over, and there was a huge lu it hard to breathe, to s, to feel anything but agony for what I was putting us through at the hands of my mom

I wanted to hate her

Resent her

But all I could feel was pity

For her

Me

Christian

Addiction was a cruelonly destruction in its wake It wasn’t co bad choices It was that voice in the back of your head, that shadow that always followed you, the devil on your shoulder, when nothing else mattered but another drink inside of you

I knew all that, yet there I was, allowing it to control my life You see,to save her life I didn’t knohich one orse They both seemed to destroy me in the end

I gasped in and out at rapid speed as I contemplated over and over if he’d meant it If ere over, done, finished I couldn’t live without hi

“He didn’tthe false reassurance that I didn’t fuck up the best thing in my life