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Leandra straightens and she gifts me a soft s herself “This is a me see it I had no idea there were so many sizes and shapes and different kinds of cacti I have to confess that I don’t even have a single one”

“That’s so we need to rectify Choose one Any one you want If it’s too big to fit in the car, I’ll have it delivered for you”

Her red stained bow lips purse out thoughtfully, then part in surprise as her eyes get deliriously huge and sweep around the greenhouse like a kid finding a giant pile of presents under the tree on Christod! Seriously? Any of them?”

“Sure If you feel insecure so about in the car, I feel insecure too because all the randma She’s an heiress My mom ran off with some other rich dude asn’t my dad She chose him instead of me and my brother and she never looked back My dad chose his career instead of us and he never looked back My grand we could want Spoiled us bloody rotten, but also made sure we kne to be thankful, polite, nice people Well, she ht have failed with iant arsehole quite often, but she did her best I often feel like I’ herA doctor or a lawyer, but instead Ito have to fall back on- employable and what not- but it was also because I didn’t have the balls to take horticulture like I wanted to Grandma wouldn’t have cared She would have supportedbusiness related Maybe it’s a good thing, since I started the company and I should understand all the ins and outs of how it runs”

“You do all of that? The , the sales, the contacts, the deliveries, getting new clients, new stores, finding new suppliers?”

I shrug because suddenly I feel a little war monumental when I know in reality I’ood to kno to delegate too I put good people into every one of those positions as we grew I still donew stores and all of that And I’ with the plants My brother thinks that’s weird”

“Pah!” Leandra scoffs “I think it’s wonderful”

“Really? You don’t find plants to be- uh- slightly nerdy?”

“I do, but what’s not to like about that? What’s wrong with loving plants?”

“Oh Nothing I was just wondering”

She turns, her golden hair fanning out around her shoulders, and points at a giant cacti I co out the one she wants, or just pointing soeneral

“That one!” She says and whirls as soon as I’m close

She’s all blazing fire and excited energy and she’s so bloody gorgeous that she’s like a danet to her netized field Her arms lock around les herself and I angle back She crashes against me, her lips about to lock with mine, when I over calculate and back up and inch too much, and…

“Ouch!”

I juht to my left buttcheck I drop my hands to rub the spot At the same time, Leandra leaps back at my surprised cry Her heel catches in the crushed rock and she teeters I grab for her wrist, pulling her up to steady her, but I pull too hard as she rights herself all on her own She goes flying forward, but sidesteps easily and catches herself in a raceful Pulled off balance, I go flying forward Straight into one massive cactus I put out my hands to catch myself, think better of it, and… Well… So

I wish I was kidding, but I’m not

Now it really does look like I’m a cactus humper

Fuck My Life

“Holy sharp prickly balls!” I screah pitched to be my own

I’o down hard I hit the ground and roll, cuppingdick