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“How so?”

I clasp ers up into funny shapes I don’t really kno to say what I want to say without it sounding like a lecture, but now that he’s kind of asked without knowing that this deep, soulful ansas coated to be honest

“When do we becoer, like we can go out and do anything and be anything, because that’s what people tell us, and noe’re not Noe’re so afraid of doing the wrong thing or being the wrong thing that we don’t even knohere to turn or look I’ oblivious, but where’s the line between society shaping andus e can and can’t be- not always for the better- and us actually being ourselves? Hoe even discover that e don’t leave ourselves roorow for fear of fear?”

“I…” Daniel doesn’t knohat to say Of course he doesn’t because I just a finished

“I used to be good A good writer I used to want that I used to be driven Why do I feel so ais I do don’tabout oh I had a shit day or oh I’ bad percolating inabout who I am at the core of me The way life eats away at you like a juicy fruit until all that’s left is the core and it’s not a good core, it’s just this old rotten, useless core, so you ht as well discard yourself, because what use is it?”

“Jeepers That sounds bad Should I take you home?”

Daniel looks sidelong atthis date because this whole year all I’ve done is hit one roadblock after another and I’ how happy everyone is around me, and that makes me feel more alone, even when I know that I’m not

“No Sorry” I blow out a breath as Daniel thankfully keeps driving us in the direction he was heading “I’m just so frustrated I’m so frustrated that other people don’t even see me when they look at me They see this body or this shape or this idea, but is that e of apathy People are so ready to consuet discarded, thrown out like all the other junk NothingI’ itcan ever be easy and nothing can ever be right I’reed and ignorance and the push forward, people falling into the cogs of thecrushed but does that matter and does anyone notice? History would say no No one is authentic anys for who they really want to be Everyone has a fake life As a woman, if you don’t show your ass and your boobs on social media, you’re made to understand that you have no worth People spend their entire day fraolden idea of a golden self that never exists and everyone else strives to make that their version of perfect”

Daniel’s jaorking when I glance at hi off on a ht on a first date Yeah I know I’m doomed to fail because of all my past failures Maybe that’s the real curse in my life, not the one my Granny made happen

“Not everyone likes clothes, but everyone likes to feel good about theuess that’s why I was drawn to fashion I loved design I loved uess I was alwaysanyood at it I was crafty I thought that’s what I should go for I didn’t realize how many people would think I was stupid because I did that Because I chose clothes over being a lawyer or a doctor or so Not that my brothers or cousins are lawyers and doctors But Granny hasout of the written word, reat articles and information out there Her companies eood enough? Like they’re never sh?”